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Young Hot Guys

La Gatta Della Madonna

30 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

1.972 - 11.545 Unknown

This show is part of the Headstuff Podcast Network. I actually, guys, think this is going to be a very fun podcast. I think this energy is going to bring something really fun and chaotic and beautiful.

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11.625 - 31.306 Tony Cantwell

Well, Cillian was very gloomy a minute ago. No, no, no. I mean, I just, Arsenal lost and everything's terrible and I'm just going to put my head down and try to continue the rest of my life. But other than that, things are grand. What is the grief like from football? Because not Ireland football, that's a separate. But for Arsenal loss, was it significant?

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31.326 - 44.969 Tony Cantwell

Were they far enough in a competition or something? Yeah, I suppose they were leading in the Premier League, which is the top sort of English football thing. Slow down. The Premier League.

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Chapter 2: What are the hosts' thoughts on the recent Arsenal football loss?

44.989 - 51.694 Unknown

Was that what that's called? Yes. Okay, all right, okay. The Premier... That's an arrangement of hotels, isn't it? No, no, it's actually... That's the Premier Inn.

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52.015 - 72.512 Tony Cantwell

Oh, okay. Fucking hell, really? Different thing. But I want to know then, so when did they lose? Saturday? Well, Sunday they had a big game against Man City by Petra State, and they lost that game, but it's sort of been a game lost after like a month and a half of...

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72.492 - 92.222 Tony Cantwell

losing and losing and losing and at one point it was sort of guaranteed I think they were like the statistics like they're going to win by it was like 85-90% chance of winning and then they've just lost and lost I withdraw my question and it's well I'm just making sure that everybody gets as gloomy as me but how sad when will you be over it this is me three days this is me watching it like

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92.202 - 95.005 Unknown

Come on, you fucking idiot.

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95.085 - 101.533 Tony Cantwell

Wow. Yeah, that's me. That's where I let it all out. That's where I let it all hang out. Do you watch it naked?

102.734 - 103.716 Unknown

Let Mare get to it.

104.036 - 120.235 Tony Cantwell

It's just one of those things where, you know, I didn't have a hat on when I was watching the game and Arsenal did well and then a t-shirt off and then it just sort of gets in my own head and then suddenly I was, next thing you know, I'm sitting on the couch bollock naked and I'm like, this is just how I have to watch it. Nana's mum's sitting there going, well, I just thought maybe you could...

120.215 - 126.788 Tony Cantwell

have a towel on or something like that. I'm like, and if you don't want to watch it here, you don't have to.

126.808 - 133.621 Shane Daniel Byrne

They're attractive. They're very attractive. Hot and loud. And a little bit sad. He was the best guy around. Oh my, oh my.

Chapter 3: How does Shane's morning routine influence his mood?

161.22 - 185.285 Tony Cantwell

You're not often angry in the nip. I can't think of many instances where I'm really annoyed and naked. So therefore, naked makes you happy. Maybe if you stubbed your toe in the shower. Yes. A shower would be unusual to have a stub your toe in a shower. Yeah, but I'm trying to think of a circumstance here. Maybe if you were doing the Olympics, the original Olympics, and you stubbed your toe.

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186.386 - 195.261 Unknown

Or you just lost. Or you lost. Maybe you just lost one of those big naked races. Yes. And then you ran and you're like, I can't do Greek.

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195.441 - 201.828 Tony Cantwell

That's... No, I think that's pretty good. I told this before, that's like such a queer awakening for so many people.

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202.148 - 203.21 Unknown

When you started looking at those plates.

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203.23 - 220.808 Tony Cantwell

They were like, the teacher in school was just like, and they did, they're in the nude. Everyone's like, ha ha ha. And then I was just like, tell me more about this. I was like, can I stop? Mr. Halloran, if I may. How negative are we talking? With loincloth? Are we talking full cock out? Shane, that was three weeks ago we were talking about the Greeks.

220.888 - 222.21 Unknown

We've now moved on to World War II.

222.23 - 233.182 Tony Cantwell

Can we go back to the Greeks? I'm fully aware that I'm seven. I have to say, I'm intrigued by this. I have to say, just by the notion of it. Tell me more about it. This is Matt's class. We're doing Matt's class now.

233.202 - 253.311 Unknown

Where can I get some of the Delph that I've seen in the history books with the nudie boys on it? The thing is, I think being straight in those kind of environments would be beneficial because especially if you're running, I mean, you probably wouldn't be getting an erection. And then the blood. You might be losing the wind. It wouldn't be the most aerodynamic environment.

253.375 - 261.345 Tony Cantwell

I don't know why, but I feel like sprinting with a boner would make you faster. You could use it as another. I just don't know why.

Chapter 4: What nostalgic feelings arise from the 1926 census discussion?

1334.079 - 1340.349 Tony Cantwell

Fuck you, Deputy Stagg, he said. Fuck you with most unparliamentary language. Unparliamentary at home.

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1340.369 - 1341.892 Unknown

Redacted, Deputy Stagg.

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1343.515 - 1346.119 Tony Cantwell

Oh, poor old Deputy Stagg. Won't be long for me, Hal Martin, surely.

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1346.774 - 1351.36 Unknown

Well, I've been writing a bit of, you know, current affairs jokes.

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1351.38 - 1352.622 Tony Cantwell

Okay, here we go.

1352.762 - 1368.302 Unknown

And so I have this thing where I have an AI thing that basically will pull the news. No, listen, it'll pull the trending news, and it's normally quite interesting stories, Irish stories and global stories, and then it'll give me a shit joke, and then it'll say, write a better joke than that. Okay.

1368.322 - 1376.754 Unknown

And so it made some joke about Neil Martin being nervous about the youth of the backbenchers or something. And I spent about an hour on this, trying to figure out how to write a joke.

1376.855 - 1381.503 Tony Cantwell

And I came up with... Because obviously your political satire is what people come to you for. 100%.

1381.523 - 1391.361 Unknown

That's kind of your thing. And I said, I ended up... Because it won't give me the next joke until I finish it. So I was like, okay. So it was Michal Martin. Probably Michal sharting himself right now.

Chapter 5: What insights do the hosts share about their families and lineage?

1404.297 - 1409.323 Unknown

I have to beat someone. I have to be like, no, that's not a joke. This is a joke. It's just a different, it's just, but I am learning a lot.

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1409.343 - 1425.024 Tony Cantwell

Can we do this in the mock the week format just so that we can, or have I got news for you or something like that? And of course, this week, even though they never talk about Irish news, they didn't really mention the fuel protests in the UK media, which is kind of crazy, really, that they don't think about us at all. Anyway, here we are.

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1425.405 - 1444.776 Unknown

And of course, Irish Taoiseach, Micheál Martin, is in trouble this week. Irish PM. Irish PM. The Prime Minister of Ireland, Michael Martin, was having some difficulty this week. Tony, you've been looking into this. Well, you just have to wonder, you know, me old Martin, you know, he's having a bit of trouble in his backbench as a young.

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1444.856 - 1459.265 Unknown

One of them actually put him forward for leadership, but now he's gone completely backwards on it. He's probably feeling a bit of a rumble in his tummy. And I'd say that me old Martin right now is probably me old Sharton. Huzzah!

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1459.345 - 1459.485

Huzzah!

1460.056 - 1464.183 Unknown

What is Starmer doing? What is Starmer doing, mate?

1464.223 - 1465.265 Shane Daniel Byrne

What is Starmer doing?

1465.566 - 1481.794 Unknown

What is Starmer doing? What is Starmer doing? What I really like about that is just someone who just doesn't know what's actually happening. Yeah, he doesn't know. Like, what is he doing? What does the job entail? What is actually entailed in the duties of a prime minister?

1482.179 - 1491.205 Unknown

I was laughing with Richie Brie before because I was all like, I feel like I need some kind of like new joke or whatever for the show. Or like I want something that's just today, some sort of joke.

Chapter 6: How do the hosts reflect on their childhood memories related to family names?

1900.609 - 1915.268 Tony Cantwell

James Gavin. But more matzy than lingual. And he kept getting Obrigado wrong. And he, one version he came up with was, Oh, Gabby Rado. And we just thought it was the best thing ever.

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1915.288 - 1917.994 Unknown

All we hear is Gabby Rado.

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1918.895 - 1938.152 Tony Cantwell

And then we're doing, yeah, we're doing that. Welcome back to Gabby Rado. What did you say, Gabby Rado? Gabby Rado. Gabby Rado. So I'm like, I think you might be dyslexic is what I do think. Maybe that's what's happened to you. I always thought it sounded very, there's a couple of those words, like Spanish and Portuguese words, I think sound very Japanese. And obrigado is one of those ones.

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1938.172 - 1943.081 Tony Cantwell

Sayonara. Or that is Japanese, is it? Sayonara, yes. That's Japanese. I always thought that was Spanish.

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1943.221 - 1943.983 Unknown

It's mad, isn't it? Yeah.

1944.263 - 1948.872 Tony Cantwell

See, obrigado. It sounds kind of, can I say that? Yes, I think. Obrigado.

1949.453 - 1955.667 Unknown

It sounds kind of... Whenever you are nervous about whether you can say it or not, just know that my blanket response is going to be yes from now on.

1955.687 - 1957.23 Tony Cantwell

And then we'll see what happens after.

1957.33 - 1958.633 Unknown

And then we'll see what happens after.

Chapter 7: Why do the hosts find humor in their experiences with Italian culture?

2802.347 - 2805.032 Tony Cantwell

I doubt they are. But anyway. Not me, Maria, probably.

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2805.613 - 2816.649 Unknown

I had a Italian manager in London who fucking, he hated me. He hated me so much. Trapattoni. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Trapattoni?

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2817.09 - 2829.038 Tony Cantwell

Cillian, that's about a quarter of a joke you've created there and you need to do a bit better. You can't just give Trapattoni. That's kind of the punchline without any setup or... An Italian manager. Trapper Tony.

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2829.058 - 2829.418 Unknown

Oh, I'm sorry.

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2829.678 - 2846.121 Tony Cantwell

And an Italian manager in London. I thought the Tony part, the Trapper Tony was a pun on Tony. That was just a nice little bonus. Oh my God. It's a good joke. Look, look, I'm so sorry. That was a great joke and I'm an idiot. And you know who wouldn't admit to that kind of failings? That bitch I used to work for.

2848.733 - 2875.163 Tony Cantwell

horrible bit so I will say it all comes back to her it's just that the logo was stretched on the forms and I said we need to replace the logo and she's like well you don't have authorization for this I was like well you're an idiot because that goes against the style guide from the entire design of the whole thing we cannot stretch the logo that's part of the rules at least they're over it so replace it replace it also your forms aren't active they're just word documents they need to be editable PDFs for God's sake

2876.054 - 2882.244 Unknown

I'm fully behind, Shane, on that. Yeah, I'm fully behind. She's like, no, a clippy pop-up and you said that.

2882.264 - 2899.311 Tony Cantwell

We're sending this off around the world. People are filling these forms. International experts from around the world. And you, not an edible PDF, grow up. I'm going to say her name, Hilary Bleepit. I felt good just to say it out loud. Thanks, Hilary, for your discretion.

2899.426 - 2917.908 Unknown

When I worked in the shoe shop, Trapattoni, I would wind him up so much because I was... He had the translator with him as well. He did, yeah. And he was looking a bit frail. He was looking a bit frail, but you know, he still had the vim and vigor. No, but this manager, like, I was working to, I had to organize the entire stock room.

Chapter 8: What is the significance of the hosts' comedic takes on societal norms?

3245.19 - 3246.132 Unknown

Do you have water?

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3246.672 - 3255.583 Tony Cantwell

Do you have butter? Like, what? Like, shut up. Do you put water in it? Well, you boil, you poach the eggs, so I suppose... Ah, yeah. You wouldn't have been able to do it, Tony.

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3255.603 - 3262.511 Unknown

I'd have been there with a fucking... Very watery Benedictines. I'd be there with the fucking, the same pot and boiling me water from my kettle. I'd be there throwing the eggs in.

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3262.611 - 3267.777 Tony Cantwell

Oh, I can't imagine how much spit was in her coffee. I'd say a lot.

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3268.246 - 3286.17 Tony Cantwell

well there you go well look this has been another episode of the podcast it's not good it's not bad it's just that it's still happening and that's important to reflect upon what does the census of the young hot guys if we happen to be in each other's house because that's how it works whoever's in the house if you stayed over in my house you'd have to do it so we would never be in the census

3286.724 - 3315.634 Tony Cantwell

maybe you know imagine I used to there was one when I was I was like 12 what I 12 or 13 and my dad showed me that he put in because we'd been camping the week before and he put in that that was our any recent travel and I was like I felt so grown up because even though I was just a boy my details were included my travel to Wicklow like from Dublin my dad told me that's because we're in a hostel I think stop doing your end of the fringe Shane

3315.614 - 3328.298 Tony Cantwell

Why can't I be misty-eyed about the census? It's beautiful. It's a marking on the wall. It's a modern-day cave painting. I was here. I was there.

3328.338 - 3334.45 Unknown

I came back from the census. I put down there that we were away. I was about 12 and I felt like a man.

3334.43 - 3355.815 Tony Cantwell

Well, I did feel like a man. I felt like I'm a person. I felt like I'm part of the system. I felt like I'm part of Ireland. I felt connected. The first moment I felt connected to the world. And I guess it was the beginning of everything. Next week, I... I died. I called up Smock Ali. I said, give me a room because I know what I want to do for the rest of my life. And it came pouring out of me.

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