How Most People Accidentally Lose Their True Self
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What does it mean to truly be yourself?
Be you always. And you might hear that and think, well, that's obvious. That's simple. That's easy. Not if the world has something to say about it. In fact, Emerson is quoted as saying, to be yourself in a world that's constantly trying to make you someone else is the greatest accomplishment. It's not always obvious, but rather the subtle erosion of ourselves. perhaps not intentionally deciding to wear a mask, it's never taking the time to examine the reflection in the mirror and ask the right questions. Losing our intentionality means we end up wherever the wind blows us. And that could very well be a destination we aren't too happy with.
How do small compromises lead to losing your identity?
Now this next part will seem a little trivial and insignificant. But bear with me, right? Because sometimes the most important lessons are small, but they become a portal or a gateway to understand the bigger things, right? So for me, this started with a black T-shirt. Walking into a group meeting with some amazing people from all over the country and world doing different things and helping people in various ways. And all of them, as I entered the conference room, happened to be wearing business casual. Which is great, except I haven't worn a collar in a pretty long time. I've been doing my podcast, recording videos, building my businesses in a black t-shirt. And so that's how I walked into the room.
And I found it interesting that almost immediately, this self-talk emerged. It's like you stand out right now. They're going to think less of you. Is this disrespectful? Is this showing that perhaps I don't care, right? All of these things. And so I left that day and I sat with the thoughts. They bothered me, so I wanted to spend some time with them. And here's where I landed, taking those same points one by one. Number one, if they think less of me for being me, then that would be on them and not me, right? I'd gladly fight that uphill battle to earn people's respect in my authenticity. Number two, it's not disrespectful because I am happy to be there, proud to be there. I do take pride in my appearance.
I just do it in my way. And number three, Be you always, right? How you show up is what matters. Having the courage to live in a way that aligns with who you are and what's important to you. And why do I say this? Because if we can grasp this idea with something as trivial and as small as a black t-shirt in a conference room, perhaps we can then push it into other areas of life. The bigger things, the more important things. Like who's in that room to begin with, right? Who are we surrounding ourselves with? How do we spend our time? There's two ingredients to this recipe. One, who am I slash what matters? And two, how can I position myself so that that is the arena I'm operating in? Sometimes we don't do it because we're scared, but sometimes we don't do it because we never ask the right questions.
When you can find and hold your authenticity, you feel it and so will others. The question transforms from how can I blend in and not disrupt to how can I use the abundance that surrounds me to live a life that's meaningful? There's a lot of us metaphorically walking around in collared shirts when they're not what we're meant to be wearing, right? A lot of us asking, how do I not screw this up? Instead of asking, how do I go get what's mine and do it in a way that matters to me? Be you always. And the closer you are to that, the more powerful you will be. It means understanding who in your life adds to that and who in your life detracts from it. It means looking around and asking, am I doing this for me or for others?
It's that old airplane mantra. You have to put your mask on first before assisting others or no one gets saved. No one gets the value. In a way, life is a beautiful pursuit of simplicity, of really distilling your world down to what matters and pushing away the rest.
What personal story illustrates the struggle of authenticity?
Because like moths to a flame, the complexity and unnecessary minutia finds us. It latches on and becomes what we carry around. I better not let go, says the lizard brain.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What does it mean to truly be yourself?
0:00–0:52
2
How do small compromises lead to losing your identity?
0:52–4:55
3
What personal story illustrates the struggle of authenticity?
4:55–10:46
4
How can we confront our self-doubt in social situations?
10:46–17:54
5
What are the two essential ingredients for living authentically?
17:54–27:18
6
How does our perception of insignificance affect our actions?
27:18–27:58
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Your World Within Podcast by Eddie Pinero
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