Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
from the ZM Podcast Network. This is Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse, the biggest brands at the lowest prices. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley, two minutes past six. Bryn will be back in at eight for deal or reveal. Still cash to give away. Yeah, loads of cash. We gave away the big $5,000 yesterday at eight o'clock. That was very exciting.
Very exciting moment, but still lots of cash up for grabs. Your chance to win at eight o'clock this morning. The top six Vaughan. Yes, there's going to be direct flights from Christchurch to a bunch of international destinations, including Tokyo, Japan. Tokyo, Japan. Tokyo, Japan.
Christ shoots to Tokyo.
Yep. I've got the top six things a can tab would say in Tokyo. Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah.
Oh, God.
So they're going to Tokyo, Perth, and Singapore. Singapore.
That's nice.
That'll open up the South Island to the tourists as well, won't it? It'll open it up to the whole world. Well, it's a two-way street. Yes, it is, yeah. You know, it welcomes the tourists in, but also lets the cantabs out. Who let the cantabs out? Who, who, who, who, who? And because they go to Tokyo, that's the reason for it. Today's top six, top six things a cantab would say in Tokyo.
Now, I wrote this last night. It's pre-written. It's ready to go. Okay. I'm nervous. But I am willing to swap them out if someone's got a real cracker on the text machine. Oh, you want to hit a 9-6-9-6? Hit a 9-6-9-6. Okay, the top things that somebody from Canterbury would say when they get to Tokyo. A cantab would say while in Tokyo. Can I have a fork? Is that one of them? Oh, is that one?
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Chapter 2: What are the top six things a Cantab would say in Tokyo?
Is it green? Is it blue? It doesn't say. Is it a kakapo? Which technically is a parrot, flightless. It is too. I think it's the world's heaviest parrot. Trust us, they have a fat, flightless version of it. Chonky. I like our fat parrots.
Yeah, me too.
We've got a great parrot. No, this was in Brazil. Police have... What's that? Blue macaw. You think that's what it could be? Could be. Well, there's no photo of it. Oh, no, it's a green one. Yeah, classic green. Classic green parrot. Bit of a red and yellow tail. Because there's the policeman with it. But the video's just loading, Vaughan. Can you see that? Now, why has the cop got the parrot?
Well, police seized the parrot because it was warning the owner of the police arrival. Oh, it's blowing the whistle. It's blowing the whistle. They arrested a man for drug trafficking in Brazil. Here it is. Vaughn, what would you describe that as? Just your standard parrot.
Green parrot.
Green parrot. It's pretty cute. There's a video of the police with the parrot leading it away. And they have sent the parrot to Environmental Protection Resources of Brazil, like an animal... Like a sanctuary. Parrot jail. Yeah. Because when they turned up, apparently the bird was... Police are here.
Oh, no. Oh, really? Giving a heads up.
Although it would have been in Portuguese. What do you have Google Translate for? Okay, okay, okay. Watch out. The police are here. Or the 5-0s are here. Yeah, yeah. 5-0, 5-0. Weirdly, I put English 2, and it said English to French, and then English to Brazilian, and then English to Portuguese, and then English to Brazilian Portuguese. Brazilian. We'll go Brazilian Portuguese.
Why was my search automatically... Because they're listening to us. They're listening. They know. It just knows. So we need to stop talking. There isn't much to the story. It's just that they took the bird away because they were like, well, you're not keeping a bird.
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Chapter 3: What are the secret emojis related to cheating?
We've been married 10 years in February. So, you know, that's 10 and a half years old, that lipstick now. Wow. I've got a blush, a bronzer and a highlight palette that I bought in Duty Free in 2019. We're supposed to be throwing these out, guys. I'm sorry, but he's still in hiding. Kony? Yeah. There's a multi-million dollar... He may have died of Ebola.
There's a multi-million dollar bounty on his head. Can't we drone him? We can drone him now. I'll drone him for a million bucks. I've got a drone. I've got a DJI drone. We could slap a machine gun on it. What if he's Saddam Hussein? What if he's just underground? Could be underground. He could be underground, yeah. You're talking foxholes. Anyway, Kony to 9696 for that instant $3 donation.
And they are rolling in. Maybe once a month should we do a Kony 2012 update? Get a jingle going, Kony 2012. I caught my daughter using my concealer. This is, by the way, this break is covering two very important topics. Old makeup and Kony 2012. I think we can straddle the two quite seamlessly. Not many shows could. But we can. I'd like to see them try.
I caught my daughter using my concealer the other day. It's a Mary Kay green concealer. I don't know what any of that means. Mary, that was one of the Olsen twins, wasn't it? Yeah. I bought that when I was 20. I am now 42 years old. Jeepers.
Wow.
It's probably still got lead in it, Mum. Yeah, probably. Mum's just said she's got an eyeshadow from 1996. Oh, Biff, don't put that on the eyes. Well, that's not good. And has your mum donated to Connie 2012? I reckon it's purple. Blue or purple. Yeah, it'd be a lavender or something. Yeah, lavender. A lovely lilac. A lovely lilac. A lovely lilac on Bev.
I wore some eyeshadow in Aspen, Colorado in 2008 and it's still going strong. Someone said ignorant male hair does makeup not expire. No, it does, Hon. This is the problem. You know the number horn? It's got a little puddle with a number in it. That's the amount of months. You'll see a little jar lid. Who knew? That's how long. Keep those donations rolling in Coney to 9696.
And I think we'll check in again maybe in three to four weeks to see if we've had any movement on Coney. Because we're actually, we were going to donate that. We're now going to take those $3 donations and buy ourselves a military drone. And get this multi-million dollar. New Zealand's first military drone? Yeah. Do we have a military drone?
Yeah, I'm sure we've got... I mean, have you seen Iran's thrown those things around willy-nilly? We should just nab one. They won't even notice it's missing. Okay, let me see. The text machine flooded for Kony 2012. Yes, we do have several. Apparently, we've got several military drones. Oh, okay.
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Chapter 4: Did you have a famous flatmate?
Flatty McLean. Flatty McLean. I like that a lot. Lady MacLaine. That works. Did he pay his rent on time? Was he a muck? No word on that. I don't think he'd be a muck. He's not a muck. He's not a muck at all. He's a clean man. I don't think he's a muck. I live with a famous flatmate. I live with a New Zealand musician who was very popular in the early 2000s and that's my famous flatmate.
Oh, okay. Not saying names. No names. Oh, you know the name. No, I don't know the name, but I'm just thinking. Popular in the early 2000s. Savage. Michael Murphy. Again, another Michael Murphy. Flattening with scribe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also in this message, and I flattered with Izzy Dagg and Zach Guilford. Jesus, that would have been a bloody flat night.
Except we lived like pigs.
Yeah, I bet.
Chapter 5: What updates are there on Jamie Curry?
Someone said they used to flat with YouTube sensation Jamie Curry. Oh.
What's...
What's she up to now?
She was everywhere and now she's nowhere.
Now she's nowhere.
Where is she?
Probably just got sick a little. Remember she went to Antarctica? That's right, she did. She came back. In case anybody thinks she just disappeared in Antarctica, she did come back after that. We met her a few times. She was lovely. She was lovely. 298,000 followers still on Instagram there. That's right. 29 years old, turning 30 later this year.
If you've just joined us, we're doing a What Happened to Jamie Curry update. Her last post on that Instagram account was in 2021. So she's retired. She's retired from the socials. And I hope she's COVID.
COVID. She got COVID.
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Chapter 6: What are the latest trends in anonymous tip-offs?
Have you had one? My famous flatmate is also my landlord. Just the two of us in the house. Not naming names. Lead singer of a big band. Oh, okay. Lead singer of a big band. And the landlord. So they'd never be there if they were always touring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Although, unless they're practicing.
Chapter 7: How many alarms do people set for work?
Oh, yeah. There's no... Sorry, the floor just started rumbling. Can you feel that? Yeah, I think there's a jackhammer. I couched her with a group of boys in a flat in New Plymouth back during the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Also had to help get them into Irish bars in Auckland after one of the games. Turns out one of them became Bodie Barrett.
Oh.
Okay. He was Bodie Barrett at the time. Yes. Less than Owen Bodie Barrett. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I used to live with Kate Chastain before she went on to be on Below Deck. Just checking in with Below Deck. Oh, Shannon's mouth wide open. Oh, Shannon's excited about that. She's one of the most famous. She was the chief stew before Aisha. She was notoriously just like, no BS.
One of the charter guests was being really rude to her, so she made him a towel statue that looked like a rocket ship, she said, and she got in a lot of trouble for that. There's a new season coming. Yes. Yeah, I just saw Aisha's reappeared from a social media hiatus. Yes, I'm very excited. My favourite from New Zealand, Kate Chastain. What did this person maybe look like? No, I didn't think so.
Yeah. But yeah, she's very iconic. Someone said, I lived with an All Black and they named the All Black. I won't name the All Black. They said he was a real piece of S and an A-hole and he was horrible to women. Oh. Goodness me. I can't have that. My husband lived with Hayden Wild, New Zealand triathlete. Oh, lovely. Always be running and again, protein shakes, I reckon.
The protein shaker would be left on the bench. Yeah. Get a bit smelly. Hayden, put your protein shaker away again. Oh, it's burping. You go to get some clothes out of the washing machine and it's all like Lycra. Yeah, exactly. Clip-cloppy shoes are left all in front of the doorway. Oh my God, I can't have it. I can't be having clip-clopping in the morning down the hall and you're like, shut up.
It's too early. Not for me. The ZM Podcast Network. Is this show real? Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. It's been a good week. There must be something. I don't know. Are you guys feeling my aura, my energy this week? You're just tired all the time. No, not that one. Oh, the different aura. Like my like magnetism. Have you guys been struggling with that as men this week? How magnetising I am?
Sorry. Just one moment, Hayley. Do you want me to take my headphones off? No, just look away. You won't be able to hear. Okay. I don't know how to deal with this, but what do you normally say to women when they say this? Sorry, just if I could feed into the conversation you're having privately and then I'll tap back out. Okay.
I've been asked out on two dates this week between Monday and Wednesday from two different strangers. Were they blind? Oh, Dad, that's a bit mean. Don't say that. We bully Vaughan for his face, not me. Hey, no, I'm trying to help you out here. That was mean. I will say, between Monday and Wednesday, I've been asked out by two strangers, two men. Right.
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