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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
From the ZM Podcast Network.
This is Flesh, Wood and Hayley's Big Pod.
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Thank you, Bryn. Good morning. Fleach, Vaughan and Hayley, we're a week away. This was a surprise to Hayley from a long weekend because this time next Monday, it's King's birthday. Oh, and long live the King. Long live our long weekend. Long live the King. God, we can do with it. Yeah, we can. Good timing. Good timing, actually. Gorgeous. Well, lovely.
So it's a full week this week, short week next week. Yes. So I've still got to work five days before then. Yeah, unfortunately, yes. You do, yes. It dampens it somewhat. It does, yeah. But today, Deal or Reveal, the Olivia Dean edition, all the briefcases have been restocked. One was opened, number seven, with Brian Clint on Friday afternoon. $300 inside that briefcase.
Did they go with the deal or the reveal? I don't know. Well, inside one of these suitcases, not only loads of cash, but also a double pass. And if you need them, flights and accommodation to Auckland to see Olivia Dean. And that has sold out. So that, to some people, is going to be worth... what, like $1,000? Yeah, God, yeah. At least.
So you've got to bear that in mind if you're negotiating your dealing with Banker Bryn, who'll be in at 8 o'clock this morning, your chance to play again, the deal or reveal. The top six Vaughan Smith. It sure is. Coming up. Later on. Yes. A problem to be dealt with in the coming hour. He hasn't decided. Nah. I come up with a great one. You did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because yesterday was the last day of the New Zealand International Comedy Festival. Here it is. Here it comes. Here it comes. And I thought it was going to be the top six things you'll see in the upcoming Misery Festival. Right. Are you going to tell everyone what happened? And I'm people's choice. I just won an award last night. It's fine. I wasn't going to bring it up.
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Chapter 2: What happened to the sports reporter during a live broadcast?
It looked into analysed, I think that's how you say it. The spelling of it's confusing. Analysed 800,000 fashion images that came out, you know, from magazines and selling and all that kind of stuff, advertising, that came out between 2000, I'd say the pits of advertising, To 2024. Was 2000 heroine chic? Heroine chic, thin, thin, thin.
And literally designers said that the idea of having super thin models was the closest thing to a coat hanger. Was that a great... Was that a... Who said that? It might have been Karl Lagerfeld or someone like that. Right. It was absurd. So they've analysed like kind of from the height of thin, thin, thin, thin, thin advertising to 2024, analysing 800,000. So we've got a good spread here. Mm-hmm.
And it found that obviously diversity has grown in the last 24 years, represented. More on the extremes, the middle's still not super represented. A body like mine would not be a model. You've got your plus size but way more diversity. Non-white models between 2000 and 2024 went from 13% to 40%, my friend. Yes. And we're still going to get that up. best looking ones of us all.
You know what I mean? I showed you some the other day. You did? Yeah, you agreed. I wept a little bit. You wept? I wept. You were brought to tears. I was brought to tears by these beauties. And then plus size models, like more represented, so it's not just your size double zero models in advertising. However, this has not translated to the actual models of doing like fashion runways. Right.
So there's more hot brown models. Hot brown models and maybe some hot curvy models and some Asian models and some whatnot. But they're all still skinny. They're all skinny. And even the plus size models. So Ashley Graham would be maybe the most famous plus size model that is working. Yeah.
Or even the plus, I'm going to just do quotes so you can hear those quotes, plus size models are thinner than the average size American woman. Yeah. So they're there to represent your curvy gals and they're smaller than the majority. There's nothing worse than buying something online and then you get it back and you're like, that doesn't look anything like it did on the website.
You're like, what the hell? Yeah. So high prestige brands, think your high end brands, they're the most likely to use the thinnest models. Yeah. And the most white, basically. Right. So they're still, even though like we as people are sizing up. Yeah. And that the average body in most countries is bigger. So not bigger, but is not a rake thin model. Yeah. The models are still thin. Yeah.
Do you think with all the weight loss jabs it's going to how it was in the 2000s? Yeah, I guess so. I don't know how they'd get their hands on it, but I'm sure it's not hard. Oh, I know. It's terrible. I mean, you see, like, because every now and then you'll go to a shop and you'll see they've got, like, a different size body mannequin or something. It's still... Little. It's still real small.
This is like, I saw an amazing comedy fest show on Friday night by Harriet Moore. She's a Dunedin comedian. I just didn't know what I was expecting. What was it called? It was called Just Eat the Damn Sausage. And I came out thinking I was going to see this funny show, which it was, by the way. Very, very funny. But she came out and she's naked. She's in an apron, but she's completely naked.
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Chapter 3: What insights does the model study reveal?
At this Misery Festival, they're just going to be doing live reads of actual headlines. Now, let me just check my New York Times, you know, because I subscribe. Well done. Is it comedians? And he doesn't even play the games. I don't even play the games. US and Iran agreed in principle to reopen the Strait of Hormuz. Yeah. So that's looking positive.
Yeah, I don't know if you can trust the guy who put up an AI-generated video of him throwing Stephen Colbert in the bin. I know. On the weekend. I know. I don't know. Number five on the list of the top six things to look forward to at the Misery Festival, the line for the bar. Oh, gosh. It's so long and slow moving. The people working there, they might be learning as they go.
Because you almost turn up to a show at the Misery Festival thinking, maybe it won't be as miserable.
I'm going to need a drink.
I'm going to need a drink, though, and then the wait for the drink makes you miserable. It really kicks it off as a Misery Festival. I feel like a lot of these places, we could just have vending machines, right? Or just a pre-booked drink in your seat waiting for you. Sure. There it is. Drone's and robots. Oh, now we're talking.
Number four on the list of the top six things to look forward to in the Misery Festival, the seats. None of them are right for your back. You're going to be uncomfortable. Are they uncomfortable like that? Uncomfortable for the whole show. What about like movie recline seats? There's not going to be any of those at the Misery Festival. Okay. No, it's Misery. It's Misery. It's Misery.
Uncomfortable. And the seat in front is just a bit too close. Oh, yeah. Crammed and miserable. Just the knees. You're going to be in a weird angle. The back's going to be in pain at the end of it. Number three on the list of the top six things to look forward to at the Misery Festival. Parking. It sucks. You're probably going to come back to a scrape. Yeah. You're super expensive, super tight.
She's probably just Uber. That's expensive. That's expensive, isn't it? Yeah, it's that surge. I don't know why we're going. The venue's just surge. Do we have to go? Maybe you don't want to because number two on the list of the top six things to look forward to in the Misery Festival. Ladies, I'm sorry, but the bathrooms. Very slow moving. And you can see the male toilets have zero queue.
Guys are just in and out, in and out, in and out. You're like the line. I will say we went to Eddie Izzard and I remember saying to Fletch, like we needed to pee. And I was like, I know a hack. And there was this one bar on a little touch corner, a little level, no one in the women's. It was brilliant. Or otherwise do what I do. Just use the mints. Use the mints. Yeah. Absolutely.
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Chapter 4: How do anniversary celebrations change in relationships?
The buck teeth went into Sigurd's leg. Oh. And killed him from infection. Oh. Wait. What? He is one of the only people to lose a war after the other guy died. Posthumously killed by the man you beheaded. Posthumously killed. Wait, how sharp were these fangs? But they know that they would have been more manky. It was more the infection that killed him.
So he's trotting around with a head like this. He's like, ha, ha, ha, I'm a better man than everyone. I won a battle that wasn't a fair battle. And then zhoop. Just the teeth, and they might have just rubbed, you know, because sometimes... Yeah. Just a slight open wound. I would have put an apple in there just for safety. Just an apple pie. Sort of a cork. Yeah, maybe a pool noodle on each one.
Yeah, just to soften it. To soften it. There's a real debate about how long it took him to die, but all the doctors at the time agreed that he died because of the teeth of Meow. Wow. Wow, because he got a wound and it was infected. Yuck. The ultimate calmer. That's grim. Yeah. Died posthumously from a great story.
And he relentlessly mocked this guy because of the buck teeth and it was the buck teeth that took him down. It's a brilliant story of karma, isn't it? It is. That was Unpredictable History. I liked it. That was Unpredictable History. That was good stuff. Really good episode from you, Shannon. That was really good. So much better than your hacks. The hacks are just so terrible.
That was a five-star history story, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Someone feels a bit sick. They said, God, the Weebooks were a bit hard to get down this morning thanks to that. Sorry, yeah. You don't need teeth to eat those, famously.
No. You can mull them up enough. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley.
Right now though, give us a call 0800.ZM or a text 9696. When did a first date turn into a non-stop multi-day occasion? They just didn't leave and now you're together and it's been ages. Yeah, or maybe it was just like a week-long fling. So I read this beautiful story online about a woman who went through a tumultuous...
She lives in the UK and decided that post-separation, she was going to go out and have a little bit of an eat, pray, love. One destination was Australia. She wanted to spend 12 months in Australia. Okay. I would have gone to France. Anyway, Australia from the UK. She goes to Australia and she's having a lovely time, but she's moving around all the time.
And she's just got the apps open for a bit of cuddles. Yeah. You know, cuddles. She meets Seth. I've gone all the way to Australia for not getting a bloody cuddle. Do you know what I mean? With a bloody lovely bit of FIFO, bloody something or other with a tan and some veneers. Yeah. So she meets up with Seth on Bumble. They go on a little date and immediately they're just like, this is lovely.
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Chapter 5: What emotional impact does missing a significant event have?
You kind of buy it, yeah. But you do have to have done the mahi to get it. So, like, it's great for her. But, yeah, daddy wasn't there. That's all I think about with this is gold member, Austin Powers. Daddy wasn't there. Daddy wasn't there. Looks out and daddy wasn't there. But you'd think Billy Ray would have been there. Yeah, for sure.
Chapter 6: What are some relatable stories about family not showing up?
But this happens all the time. People get married and their parents might not be there. Yeah. An important family member doesn't show up. Or you graduate or you've got this big life event and someone you really want to be there isn't there. How many husbands have missed the birth of their child? Because the mum has to be there. Mum has to be there at the birth.
But you can kind of see sometimes why that doesn't happen. It happens fast. It can just happen fast. Unpredictably. Some people sneeze them out, honestly. And then they just don't have time to get there. But, you know, they're still not there. This is what we'd love to know. 0800 DARS at MSN number 9696. Text in. When did someone important in your life not show up?
So we've asked the question, when did someone important to you not show up?
Chapter 7: How do people creatively get out of traffic tickets?
Didn't make it? Wasn't there. And I tell you what. There'd be no shortage of it. No, no shortage at all. Dynamics. Tiffany, Tiffany, who didn't turn up? Good morning. Good morning. How are you?
Hi. I'm good, thanks. I graduated in Hawaii. I did my undergrad in Hawaii. Nice. Aloha. Aloha. I know, I know. Aloha. And my mum came.
Chapter 8: What are the best songs for setting a romantic mood?
My dad couldn't come. My mum flew over. My uncle flew over. But on the day of the actual graduation, my uncle didn't come. He went to the swap meet instead. A swap meet.
Yes.
It's like a, have you been to Hawaii? It's this huge, what would you call it, like a market. Yes, yes.
And it's in like a car park or something behind a stadium or something. Is that the one?
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Around the whole stadium. You get lava lavas and trinkets. So he decided to spend the day there.
But that's not what you're there for, Uncle. Because I thought you were going to say they didn't make it all the way to Hawaii. And I was like, well, that is expensive. But he was there.
No, no. He flew to Hawaii. Yeah, yeah. and missed the whole graduation. Were you pissed? Well, I had all my friends there and it was just a bit... I don't know. I just think I wasn't thinking about it at the time. It was odd, but it wasn't until sort of afterwards, after everything had finished, I thought, oh, he didn't actually come.
Yeah, it just sounded like he wanted a free trip to Hawaii, really, didn't it? Yeah, it really gives an excuse for Hawaii, but that's okay, Uncle. Crazy. Tiffany, thank you. Some messages in. My dad didn't come over from Australia to give me away at my wedding. Oh, that's really not that far. Someone said, kind of fits the story requirements.
Granddad died four days before my 21st birthday, so he held his funeral on my 21st birthday. So technically he was there, but physically the lights were off. There was a follow-up there from that message. My dad didn't come over from Australia. He did come over for my sister's wedding one year later and said that that made up for it, not being a mom. No, no, it doesn't.
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