ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley
Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special '25- Episode Thirty!!
17 Jan 2026
Chapter 1: What is the Christmas Cocktail Special about?
Flesh one and Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special.
Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special. Our live show and big pod is back tomorrow if you're listening to this on the Sunday, the 19th of Jan. Heyo! Hey! Otherwise it'll just be the next podcast after this one if you're listening somewhat delayed. Yes.
Doesn't matter. After holidays. So this means holidays will be at an end. Oh my God, yeah. And a fresh new year with fresh new dreams and goals. It's going to be beautiful. Everything resets. All the problems have gone away.
Boo!
What? All the problems are gone. Damien is in Ireland, and he says, huh? No, I did Georgia at the end of the... Oh. No, you didn't. I didn't do Georgia. You dumb fucking idiot. Sometimes you're quite thick, eh? What a thickie. Georgia. It is so hard doing this podcast with you. Okay, all right. Shout out to my partner. This is Georgia in Aotearoa, New Zealand.
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Chapter 2: What personal updates do the hosts share for the new year?
Shout out to my partner. Maybe fiance when this airs. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. Oh, wait. Is she doing that thing where she's asking or she's just holding out there? No, she thinks he's going to ask. She might have found a ring. She's found a ring. She's got something. The clues are there.
shout out to my partner maybe fiance when this is for sticking it out with me in a year of adventure we just got back from the uk where i was completing a master's at oxford oh a master loved me and he supported me all the way through despite my semi-regular crash out so nice i mean statistically though it's highlight of the year
Highlight of the year, representing Oxford in the Oxford v Cambridge Aussie Rules Football League annual match. Not getting injured despite playing as a starting ruck and then promptly breaking my finger at the following practice. Oh, wow. I don't know how Aussie Rules works. They kick it a lot.
They're so much svelter. And they wear those little tank tops and tiny little shorts. It's... And the paddock's so much bigger.
It's more like football. It's big homoerotic vibes.
It's big homoerotica.
Yeah, little shorts.
Little shorts. Big dick. And the arms on these things. But they're smaller. If you put one of them next to a ball black.
Oh, yeah.
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Chapter 3: How does Hayley showcase her accent skills?
No, so not. So not gay. Not a twink.
Well, Ali could be short for Alistair.
I doubt it. It's not, though.
Who knows? Who listens to you guys as she bakes in the coffee shop? Her coffee shop in Listow, Ireland. Now, I'd like to know, does she do a good slice in this coffee? Well, let's have a look. We've got her Instagram here. At Ali's Coffee Shop on Instagram. Okay. Have a look. So we can definitely have a little squiz as well. Shit. Oh, my God. Yeah.
Yeah, the coffee shop this morning before we came here, we got a cinnamon scroll, and it was ā Dry, there was no icing.
It absorbed every inch of moisture from my body, and I've been a biscuit since. Oh, okay, here we go.
Okay, have you got an Instagram? Oh, look at the cake. Oh, yeah.
Lemon raspberry gluten-free cake. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, there's nothing dry about that.
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Chapter 4: What humorous stories do the hosts share about their holidays?
Our holiday in Costa Rica where I proposed to Ali. I just saw that photo. That was pretty cute. And she said yes. Or maybe a couple of days before that on the same trip where we did the Tarzan swing at the Zipline Park. And the new guy they were training in nearly popped my head off like a champagne cork when he fucked up the safety ropes. Jesus Christ. But I ducked just in time.
Yeah, you really don't. You really appreciate the Kiwi health and safety when you travel overseas. You do. I heard the trainer screaming at him, so I didn't get decapitated. But let's go with the first one. Reincarnation. I mean, ideally it would be something fun like a howler monkey or an apex pretty like a great white shark.
Oh, yeah, Shannon hates monkeys.
And those howler monkeys are like... Yeah, well, their name is howler, yeah. Yeah. Given how ecosystems and climate are completely fucked, happy Christmas, everybody, maybe I could come back as the final artificial intelligence that will eventually rule over all humanity.
Pretty much a god, you know, but an interventional one that distributes wealth evenly and makes it sure everyone is housed and fed and it's nice to trans people. Or a crow.
The crow feels easier.
The crow at this stage might be easier to accomplish, but I like where you're going with the final solution to, I shouldn't have said final solution, someone else said that once, where they were going with the AI that distributes wealth and looks after everybody. Anonymous from Queenstown, shout out to you guys for getting me through the second maternity leave. We were laughing out louder, KPI.
I think I heard the word cuck chair more in 2025 than I ever have before. That's a beautiful chair. Also because I'm greedy. Shout out to my friend Jade. 10 out of 10. Excellent human. She'll laugh when she hears this. And no, I'm not going to say anything cheeky at this time to get myself in trouble. Circa FBH Midwinter Christmas Special 2024. Hmm.
Okay.
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Chapter 5: What unique cocktails are featured in this special?
It is penultimate.
Penultimate.
We made it, and actually I'll say not too schloppy.
Nah, pretty good. We've been schloppy. Well, thankfully you were... Demoted. Demoted on drinks, so yeah.
While I offered to make another one, everyone was like, no, no, no, sit down, sit down, it's fine.
Piracino martinis, as we call them. Bri says, hello, FVHCS and any other members of the gaggle or other friends that may be present. It's Mike and Jess. Mike and Jess are here. We've really been left by the gaggle. This Tuesday thing does not work for the gaggles.
In the past years, the gaggle have often joined us. and derailed the evening. Yeah. Well, fuck them. Fuck them.
My best, my shout out goes to my, long time listener, sometimes still a little poll replier, 2025 has definitely been a year. Let's leave it at that. My shout out goes to my bestie Amy, not just because she's one of my oldest friends, but also because we've been giving each other podcast shout outs for nine years. Nice.
A massive thank you to the team for providing laughs when everyone, it sounds like you guys have had times this year when you don't feel like laughing.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts reflect on their past year?
My name is also French and I also love to have a croissant. New York. Wait, you've got to join me, Vaughn. Hey. Hey. Hey, we're walking in. I'm trying to get to the fucking theater. Get the fuck out of the way. Come on. Come on.
Get out of here.
I want a fucking pastrami sandwich.
Indian.
I can do it.
Don't do it.
I'll pay. There was many of us in this relationship, wasn't there? That's Lady Diana, you know, when she was doing that interview. It was quite a crowded relationship. But what does aunt pay mean? Royal pronunciation. Oh, okay. Sort of like, and my mother would have said this to me, and I died.
Somalian. That's not on the list. Southern American.
Can you help me move this sofa into my van?
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Chapter 7: What funny moments arise during the accent challenge?
I feel like I would do as well as an animal to feed myself. She's got a Scottish fold, eh? Guys, this is our final. And in some of those, yeah.
Final shout out.
Hey! There was a paper in there. Thanks. Final page of the shout out. This is it. This is it. This is it. Liam. Yoch. From Melbourne. Hi, F.E.H. It's Liam here. Hi, Liam. Shout out to my hopefully by now fiancƩ, Jess. Oh. Popping the question soon. So fingers crossed that this shout out doesn't age badly.
Now, let me... Was the person that said before that they hoped they were going to get proposed to, this isn't the other half of that, is it?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Do you imagine?
Yuck. Love is a laugh. Yuck.
She loves her dog, Richie, and her Eeyore more than me, but I'm fine being the third wheel. Sounds like you're the fourth wheel.
I don't think you're not really a priority.
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Chapter 8: What are the hosts' plans for the upcoming year?
Yeah. Shit, that'll age so badly if one of us dies.
I think it'll be. How are you going to die over summer?
How would I die over the summer? Fletcher's going to get... Well, he's going to South Africa. Oh, South Africa and Brazil. You're going to get trampled by a zebra.
And Brazil.
Yeah, you're going to get trampled by an animal. Vaughn, you'll be doing a ride-on mow. Yeah, and it'll flip over. It'll flip and trap you and mow you to pieces.
It'll fertilise your own lawn. Well, I mean, that's okay.
Or just shave off a leg.
Well, there's a quick 15kgs weight loss. Lose a leg. I'm sorry, does it count if all of a sudden you've lost a head or leg amputated?
I don't think you can go on Instagram and be like, guys, I had a massive shred.
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