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一席英语·脱口秀:老外来了

把自己“重养一遍”,你会怎么做?

30 May 2024

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主播:Anne(中国)+ 梅莉(法国)歌曲:Go Again俗话说,every adult was once a child(所有的大人都曾经是小孩)。最近网上有很多人分享“把自己重养一遍”的话题:reparenting yourself。到底什么才是重新养自己呢?What exactly is reparenting yourself?01什么是“把自己重养一遍”?重新养自己,就是做自己的父母。It’s basically being your own parents.不像养宠物或者养孩子(unlike raising a pet or a child),这一次你是在把自己当孩子养(raising yourself as if you were a kid)!·raise /reɪz/v.养育网友们总结出了很多“重养自己”的方法,比如去吃小时候爸爸妈妈不让买的零食(eat the snacks that your parents wouldn't let you buy when you were a kid),或者是带自己看一场“小时候觉得太贵(pricey)”的演唱会(take yourself to a concert which was too pricey for you when you  were little),又或者是学一门看上去好像在“浪费时间”的手艺(learn a skill that is seemingly a waste of time),比如搭乐高(building legos)或者编织(knitting)。·pricey/ˈpraɪsi/adj.贵的·seemingly/ˈsiːmɪŋli/adv.貌似;看似不过,最困难的地方(the hardest part)还是在于精神上(emotionally)如何重养自己。其实每个人都有一个inner child(内心里的小孩子),而她记得你所有的童年记忆和情感(remembers all your childhood moments and emotions),无论好坏(both good and bad)。她是你潜意识的一部分(part of your subconsciousness)。如果你有过一些让你不安的童年经历,比如当父母向你发火(get mad at you)或者是责怪了你(scold you)时,却没有人安慰你(you had no one to comfort you),又没有任何支持(support),那你当时心里的痛苦(pain)或者羞耻感(shame)不会真正消失(go away),because your inner child still remembers it。·scold/skoʊld/v. 责备·comfort/ˈkʌmfɚt/v. 安慰·support/səˈpɔːrt/n.支持;帮助所以重养自己很重要的一点就是acknowledge(承认)内心小孩的存在,comfort her(安慰她),maybe even write her a letter(甚至给她写一封信)!·acknowledge/əkˈnɑːlɪdʒ/v. 承认;认可……存在总而言之,重养自己本质上就是in a way you might not have experienced before(以一种你以前可能没体验过的方式)做一些事情来take care of your physical needs(照顾好你身体上的需求)以及emotional needs(情感上的需求),并且give yourself the love that you deserve(把你值得的那份爱给自己)。主播梅莉在中国看到了很多cartoon decorations(卡通装饰),她有一个猜测:不知道这是不是因为人们小时候didn’t have a lot of time to play(没太多时间玩),所以在以这种方式trying to make it up(试着弥补)。·make up弥补02如何重新养自己?每个人都有different ways of reparenting yourself(不同的重养自己的方式),不论是物质上,还是精神上。在物质上,主播Anne建议可以buy yourself small, seemingly useless things that make you happy(给自己买看上去没用,却能让自己开心的小东西),比如 a bouquet of flowers(一束花)。 它可以用来提醒自己:- You’re worth it.(你值得)- Your happiness matters.(你的开心很重要)对于稍微更贵一点的东西(something that’s a bit more pricey),如果是something that you’ve been wanting for a long time(你想要了很久的东西),经济允许的情况下也可以买给自己。而不是像经济独立之前一样告诉自己:you don’t need this in order to live(你不需要这个也能活)。很多人心里一直都会有一个 innervoice(内心的声音)telling them tosave more money(告诉他们要省钱)以及be thrify(要节俭),不过自己独立挣钱后就会开始re-evaluateyour relationship with money(重新审视你跟金钱的关系),适当满足自己的需求,增强“配得感”。·thrifty/ˈθrɪfti/adj.节俭的·evaluate/ɪˈvæljueɪt/v.评估;评价在精神上,可以试着encourage yourself more(多鼓励自己),然后试着去更多地看到你的strengths(强项)和the things you did right(你做对的事情),而不是 weaknesses(弱点)和the things you did wrong(你做错的事情)。- Focusing on your strengths actually brings out the best in you, and gives you more power to fix your weaknesses!(专注于长处会让你发挥出你最好的一面,并且给你更多力量去改正你的缺点!)- Try not to punishyourself foryourmistakes and failures.(试着不要去因为自己犯的错误和失败而去惩罚自己。)就像主播们说的,人生已经如此地艰难,don’t be so hard on yourself(不要对自己太苛刻了),just do better next time!·strength/streŋθ/n.长处;强项·weakness/ˈwiːknəs/n.弱点;缺点·punish/ˈpʌnɪʃ/v.惩罚·failure/ˈfeɪljɚ/n.失败学会从原生家庭中独立,也是重养自己的一个重要方面。主播梅莉说,她家里有五口人,家里总是热热闹闹的,不过离开家以后(sincemoving away),她感受到she has been challenged to be more independent(她面临着更加独立自主的挑战),并且学会了spend time alone to organize her thoughts(利用独处时间去整理思绪),了解自己的喜好。·independent/ˌɪndɪˈpendənt/adj.独立的尽管她十分extroverted(外向),而且love being around people(热爱与人交往),现在也在学着take time for self-care activities(花时间做自我关怀的活动)。比如meditation(冥想),journaling(写日记)以及taking walks or runs(散步或跑步)。这些事情都能帮她reconnect withherself(跟内心建立链接)。03疗愈与理解重新养自己这个话题背后,也有一个healing and understanding aspect(疗愈和理解的层面)。Not everyone is fortunate to have grown up in families that are healthy. (不是每个人都有幸成长在健康的家庭里)·aspect/ˈæspekt/n.方面;层面毕竟,家家有本难念的经。No family is perfect, andwe all have our own dramas and challenges. 每个人都是第一次活,没有任何previous experience(之前的经验),we’re all doing this for the first time!我们需要keep in mind(记住)的是:we’realldoing our best with the knowledge we have been taught and the experiences we have.以我们现有的知识和经验,我们都已经尽力了。重养自己,不是critizing your parents(批判父母),也不是criticizing your past self(批判过去的自己),而是making peace (和解) with your parents and your past self。·knowledge/ˈnɑːlɪdʒ/n. 知识·criticize/ˈkrɪt̬ɪsaɪz/v. 批评;批判·make peace with v. 与……和解好不容易长大的我们,终于有了能力让生活变得更好。We have the power to make our lives better, as adults(成年人).欢迎留言告诉我们:你会用什么方式,把自己重养一遍呢?

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