I lived nearVictoria Station, and I recall long excursions by bus to the hospitable housesof the literary. In my timidity I wandered up and down the street while Iscrewed up my courage to ring the bell; and then, sick with apprehension, wasushered into an airless room full of people. I was introduced to thiscelebrated person after that one, and the kind words they said about my bookmade me excessively uncomfortable. I felt they expected me to say cleverthings, and I never could think of any till after the party was over. I triedto conceal my embarrassment by handing round cups of tea and rather ill-cutbread-and-butter. I wanted no one to take notice of me, so that I could observethese famous creatures at my ease and listen to the clever things they said.I have arecollection of large, unbending women with great noses and rapacious eyes, whowore their clothes as though they were armour; and of little, mouse-likespinsters, with soft voices and a shrewd glance. I never ceased to befascinated by their persistence in eating buttered toast with their gloves on,and I observed with admiration the unconcern with which they wiped theirfingers on their chair when they thought no one was looking. It must have beenbad for the furniture, but I suppose the hostess took her revenge on thefurniture of her friends when, in turn, she visited them.我住在维多利亚车站附近;我还记得我到一些殷勤好客的文艺家庭中去作客总要乘车在市区兜很大的圈子,因为羞怯的心理作祟,我往往在街上来来回回走好几遍才鼓起勇气去按门铃。然后,我心里捏着一把汗,被让进一间高朋满座、闷得透不过气的屋子。我被介绍给这位名士、那位巨擘,这些人对我的著作所说的恭维话让我感到坐立不安。我知道他们都等着我说几句隽词妙语,可是直到茶会开完了,我仍然想不出什么有风趣的话来。为了遮盖自己窘态,我就张罗着给客人倒茶送水,把切得不成形的涂着黄油的面包递到人们手里。我希望的是谁都别注意我,让我心神宁静地观察一下这些知名人士,好好听一听他们妙趣横生的言语。我记得我遇见不少身材壮硕、腰板挺得笔直的女人。这些女人生着大鼻头,目光炯炯,衣服穿在她们身上好象披着一挂甲胄;我也看到许多象小老鼠似的瘦小枯干的老处女,说话柔声细气,眼睛滴溜溜乱转。我对她们那种总是戴着手套吃黄油吐司的怪毛病常常感到十分好笑;她们认为没有人看见的时候就偷偷在椅子上揩手指头,这让我看着也十分佩服。这对主人的家具肯定不是件好事,但是我想在轮到主人到这些人家里作客的时候,肯定也会在她朋友的家具上进行报复的。
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