Aaron Doughty
speaker
216 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Aaron Doughty’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
At the deepest level of forgiveness, there's nothing to forgive, which will trigger a lot of people when they hear that. But it's about understanding that it wasn't the divine essence of a person that did that to you. The unconsciousness is what did it. When you start to become okay with people not resonating with you, it's actually something that could be celebrated.
You came here to have the courage to express yourself.
to be the real you and it's not your job to please anyone else and the beauty of that is you allow the people that aren't resonating with that level of you to leave but also you allow in the people that really will resonate with that deeper more vulnerable aspect of you i had to learn how to not associate my sense of worth by taking on their burden and then trying to fix them the other aspect i realized is that i was thinking that i was helping them when i was actually enabling them
I see two different things going on. I see on one hand, there's an energetic energy that's going on that's being neared back. And on the other hand, there's a spiritual component. I believe that's happening as well. So from the energetic level, it can be that people attract people that are reflections of certain patterns because subconsciously there may be some unresolved energy there and
And based on their beliefs, based on the patterns that they familiarized as a kid, they tend to attract people that mirror that energy back.
So a very common pattern people might attract is if they are someone that overgives, someone that's giving a lot or trying to fix other people, they may find themselves attracted to people that overtake. Mm-hmm. And one of the reasons being is because one, they may have familiarized that energy as a kid, or they may also believe that it is their role or their responsibility to fix someone else.
The other component of this too is that there may also be an identity that they took on younger that was an identity of I am worthy if I give. My sense of self-worth subconsciously is tied to my ability to be good And to be good as a kid may mean that you abandon yourself to ease the tension in the family or that you abandon yourself to make mom or dad happy.
And then there's like this rule that's set up that is that in relationships, for me to be worthy, I must give or overgive or I must fix.
and that starts a pattern where then what happens is people that come into your life you in a way tolerate a certain energy more than other people because that's normalized so whereas somebody that may have been in a relationship with someone that's an overtaker or that's kind of entitled
they may have been in that relationship and then chosen to leave the relationship or to set a boundary in that relationship because it wasn't something that was equal to how they see themselves being treated.
Whereas somebody that has that wound active, what they may do is they may put it to the side or say, I'm the only one that can fix this person or believe it's literally my responsibility to fix or I'm only worthy if I overgive. So they tend to subconsciously stay stuck in
those kind of relationships simply because that energy has been familiarized yeah like maybe they think that that's what love is because that was yes normal in their family upbringing yep which is interesting because then what could happen is they could actually have options in their life of people where there's more reciprocal relationships they either don't see it or they
they're not even attracted to it. They're like, they think that that's, um, there's like something up with it or boring. It's boring. Exactly. They're like, I'm used to the high highs and the low lows. And you also, it's kind of like subconsciously, they're like, I'm going to play a game. This is the subconscious game. We're going to play. The game is going to play. I'm going to fix you.
And then I'm going to feel responsible for your stuff. And this is all subconscious, of course. But it's like, who else wants to play this game with me? And then if somebody else comes along and they have a regulated nervous system, you look at that and you go, eh. Not my person. Yeah, not my person. I don't feel it. There's no chemistry.
100%.
So I find it happens a lot with the people that I coach or the people that I see that are kind of going through this kind of transformation. It's a decision and a role that was picked up as a kid, but also subconsciously the belief is that if I can fix my partner,
they're going to love me they're going to give me what i need and they're going to meet my needs and then subconsciously if you take that a little bit further you can get down to the mother father child dynamic which is very powerful in understanding how we relate to other people
Because the mother energy, the father energy is both related to different aspects of our life as well as the inner child part of us. And what happens though is if we aren't soothing the part of ourselves that feels like they have to fix or feels unworthy, then what happens is we just keep playing these patterns out. So a huge part of this is understanding like where are we projecting ourselves?
our unresolved mom and dad stuff onto our potential partners or in our relationships? And where can we take responsibility for that and begin to nurture our own inner child? Because that inner child part of us really only wants attention from us.
Yeah, I've been caught in this pattern before, too, where I would be in a relationship where it was a dynamic where I felt like I had to fix someone else. It'd be someone that was starting to go through a big spiritual awakening or something like that. They're going deeper. And there's been times where I wake up and I realize that I'm trying to literally subconsciously fix them.
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