Aaron Doughty
speaker
216 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Aaron Doughty’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Yeah, it always trips me up because my old shadow work coach, he would tell me, safety is not an emotion, it's a concept. And I started thinking about this because I'm like, because we say it, I've said it many times on this podcast, like feeling safe, feeling safe, feeling safe. But subconsciously, some of us may only feel safe in certain toxic dynamics, which it's like, is that really safe?
Which is an interesting thing to contemplate because it's like someone may be around someone that has a regulated nervous system and they're not used to someone with a regulated nervous system. So that may bring up stuff in them. Which doesn't make sense because it's like, well, they're safe.
But it's like now there's other emotions coming up to be processed because they finally feel safe enough to let it come up. And when people come to my live events, people can shift a lot because I think it's not the magic of what I say. It's literally because I think a lot of people have watched my YouTube videos and they feel safe with me. So when they come, their guards go down.
Healing happens in the presence of an empathetic witness. So if I'm coaching someone on stage and I'm just present with them and I'm not judging them, I'm not trying to change them, and then they have a big breakthrough, stuff may come up. Uncomfortable emotions may come up, but it's because they're allowed to come up because... There's not that old codependent pattern or something.
But anyways, the reason I mention it, it's a fascinating thing to me because I'm still exploring in my mind, how do I describe this? That's why I was curious.
It's interesting. When you think about that idea of being attractive or having magnetic energy or wanting acceptance from everybody, the truth is, in our minds, we may think that's what we want. We want everyone to like us, but do you really want everyone to like you? Like, do you want sociopaths to like you? Do you want narcissists to like you? You don't want everybody to like you.
But in the mind, that can be like as a survival mechanism, the belief. So when you start to become okay with people not resonating with you, knowing that when other people don't resonate with you, it's actually something that could be celebrated instead of like avoided because of the abandonment wound or whatever it is.
Now, what it means if somebody doesn't resonate with you, it means you had the courage to be the real you. You had the courage to express the real you. And you then allowed other people in your life to see the real you. And the beauty of that is you allow the people that aren't maybe resonating with that level of you to leave.
So you don't keep having superficial relationships, taking space in your life and blocking the other people that could be coming in. But also... you allow in the people that really will resonate with that deeper aspect, more vulnerable aspect of you. So it's not our job to manage what that is.
All of that of whether people resonate with you, don't resonate with you, et cetera, is something that you just let go of and you recognize that your job, your task is, is to focus instead on you being the most authentic version of you, you expressing yourself and knowing that who's meant to find you will, who's meant to leave your life may.
But something I've learned is that as I go deeper within myself, I only attract people that are deeper reflections within myself or reflections of that new energy. So it's not like you lose yourself. the depth that you've created. You just go deeper and some people in your life may go deeper with you or you may also make space for people to come into your life where there is that depth with.
So I think that brings to the people pleaser maybe a little bit of understanding that you don't have to manage any of this Your job is just to be the real you. And the thing that maybe you came here to learn at like a soul spiritual level was you came here to learn how to be in your own frame. You came here to have the courage to express yourself, to have the courage to be the real you.
And it's not your job to please anyone else. Yeah, we did come here to learn unconditional love, but unconditional love comes with no conditions. Yeah.
I find people that are attracted to probably my and your content, they tend to be people that are spiritually connected, that these things were amazing gifts that got them to where they are.
For sure.
Exactly. Yeah. You could be grateful for it because we wouldn't be doing what we're doing today.
Yeah. If we had the perfect childhoods and the perfect everything, you know, we may have not had the desire to learn and like kind of like figure out some of this stuff for ourselves and then how we can help other people.
It's a gift. And it's a gift as well, I think, for people that are empaths or even people pleasers to become aware of this pattern. Most of the people listening have probably been through some form of spiritual awakening or self-development awakening, which means it served a purpose regardless. Totally.
But, you know, a lot of these people are people that are healers, life coaches and connected to that. So it's like, who knows? That was maybe a necessary prerequisite for you to get where you are. But now it's time to integrate it in a healthy way.
Yeah. One of the things I'm most passionate about when it comes to live events or even online is getting people together to do group mind, heart, coherent exercises where we visualize bringing in more light and love into the world. Because I believe we're all connected to a collective consciousness and
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