Abbie Chatfield

Well, it would be a multi-job deal.

It would be – the amount that they're saying that I lost is so – it's actually like delusional crazy, which is actually the good thing because if they ever do run it, I can go, guys, let's really think about this.

Do you think I would ever be offered this?

Like it's so crazy.

Like let's be fucking real.

But it's just – see, there's – you know, I was relaxed –

the day that they, that I got this email, I was having actually a good day.

I was writing the book.

I was feeling okay.

I was like, I actually feel okay for the first time in weeks.

And then I get a call from my manager saying, Hey, we've got this email saying this.

And it's like that, that trains your brain to expect crazy

illogical things to happen every time you get relaxed.

So I think my brain is scared to be relaxed because as soon as I get relaxed, every single time for the past year, every single time I feel like I've gotten through something that's been fucking insane – and again, there's a lot of personal stuff that you guys don't know about – literally the day that something ends –

Something else starts on this.

I've not had a full day of calm and getting emails like this.

It makes me extra paranoid because I go, oh, you guys are just concocting things up and you're you're asking.

I know that they're asking around places that I've worked.

Um, there have been, people have told me that there have been reporters asking around for evidence of me doing things that I would never do, that I have never done, that there's no evidence for them to do this.

But as soon as I get someone that's a quote unquote well-placed source, which they could just make up or could be a friend of theirs that works at wherever I've worked, um,