Abbie Chatfield

Is this why?

Yes, and the demonisation of female rage.

Like the literal demonisation.

Yes, all through our uterus.

It's all in there ready to go.

You mentioned before the idea and the confusion of like

How much of my rage is valid?

And there's a quote from the book where you say, I don't know whether it's my biology that is betraying me or whether I'm telling myself a biological myth in order to make the world seem more sane.

Can you expand upon that a little bit?

How do you find that compass when you are in your luteal phase?

That's really hard.

Like when you're fucking in it.

How do you do that?

Because the thing is when you're having a difficult time mentally, you go, I don't know.

Like you can say logically I know X, Y, Z. Like for me if I have repetitive ruminating thoughts, I'm like I know that isn't going to happen or it's unlikely that thing is going to happen or whatever.

I know that if it does happen I'm not going to die, you know, but I'm having these – like I had ruminating thoughts all last night and all this morning and just couldn't get out of this loop.

And you can think of the logical side, like I'm sure, you know, when you're in a little phase you're going, I know that I'm – this is not my honest reaction to, I don't know, socks on the floor or something that is so quote unquote small, but you still physically –

you fucking feel it and you can't get out of it and you're like a sick person trying to make yourself better but your brain is the thing that's sick and that's the thing that's going to help you out of it and then you go, fuck, I can't fucking do anything.

Yeah.

How do you continue living?