Adam Carolla

That's all you want.

Old seagulls look at the young seagulls the same way you look at your kids when they door dash Taco Bell.

I want you to know, I know exactly where I was the first time I realized you could DoorDash fast food.

It was 10 years ago, and I walked out of my front, it was a Saturday, and I walked out of my front door and I froze in my tracks because a middle-aged woman was holding a Taco Bell bag and walking toward me with purpose.

with the taco bell bag and i didn't recognize her and i was like where are you going she just she had her earbuds in or something she was just walking walking right at me you thought she was gonna pull a piece of paper out of the taco bell bag that's right here in calabasas they didn't get the taco bell joke they're like taco bell what is this establishment that you speak of we don't go below chipotle yeah we have passed laws to keep the taco bells out

You mean there's cheaper than Chipotle?

Yeah, no, but then as soon as I said, you've been served, they're like, we've all been there.

Oh, yeah.

Exactly.

You got to know your audience, Adam.

You got to know your audience.

Yeah, this legal document smells like a bell beaver.

What's up?

Yeah, and she just walked up to me and she handed me Taco Bell.

And I was like, thank you, kind stranger.

And she was like, somebody at this house bought fast food and had an adult bring it to them.

And it was my daughter.

Could you imagine pitching that to your family as like a nine-year-old?

Like, hey, old fucks, know what I'm in the mood for?

Something with fake cheese and lots of canola oil.