Adam Grant

speaker

346 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 24 Jul

Adam Grant’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Well, first of all, I think I have to put a little disclaimer on the table, which is that conversation with Kristen was for my Rethinking podcast.

And I've done a little rethinking since we had the conversation.

It would be ironic if I didn't.

And I think some people reacted strongly to the word selfish.

I don't mean selfish in that you're putting your needs above everyone else's.

And in fact, when you try to please people, right, you're clearly addressing their needs or at least what you perceive as their needs too.

I think what I should have said was it was self-centered.

I think of people pleasing as a self-centered act.

And part of that is because it's about me being liked and trying to curry favor with you.

And so I'm putting the spotlight on myself and how you feel about me.

But also, I think to the heart of your question, I think that people pleasing is self-focused because it actually does the other person a disservice.

You know, when when I OK, let's let's take Kristen's example.

She had a really hard time telling her flight attendant that she didn't make the coffee the way that she wanted it.

And so she didn't tell her.

She said it was great.

Well, now the flight attendant can't make her a drink that she's going to like.

And also she's probably going to keep serving the, you know, the, the, you know, what was it?

It was coffee that was like 90% milk.

It was just cream.

And she's going to keep serving that to other passengers.

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