Adam Grant

Then she sent them out to actually make those requests.

Even New Yorkers said yes a lot more than expected.

Nearly half agreed to walk people to their destinations and nearly half handed over their cell phones.

So why do we say yes so often, even to questionable requests from total strangers?

Especially at work, where pay and promotions often seem to be riding on saying yes.

Surprisingly, we often feel extra pressure with more distant colleagues.

It's called the acquaintance trap.

With people close to you, your relationship is secure, so you don't need to worry as much about declining.

With strangers, there's no relationship, so there's not as much pressure to uphold a reputation.

But with acquaintances, relationships are just uncertain enough that you feel like you can't say no because you want them to like you.

And for certain groups, these pressures are magnified.

Sherry Liu is a content creator and the founder of the Eldest Daughter Club, an online community for eldest daughters.

She's also a fellow recovering people pleaser.

This impulse started as a kid when she really wanted to be liked.

What kinds of things would you say yes to?

These experiences led Sherry to create her community of eldest daughters.

They live in the center of a Venn diagram of people-pleasing pressure.

They're female, and they often take on parenting responsibilities at a young age.

Sherry's cultural background also plays into this.

This proved to be a challenge at the beginning of her career.