Adam Grant

Research shows that unfortunately, helping at work is less optional for women than men.

Women are asked to do the lion's share of the office housework, taking notes in meetings, planning events.

They face more pressure to say yes, but get less credit.

It's taken for granted.

She's warm and caring.

She wants to help.

When a man helps, it's rewarded.

I never would have expected him to care about another person.

What a great guy.

If he declines, he gets a pass, but a woman faces a penalty.

Saying no violates the unfair expectation for women to be other-oriented.

And these dynamics are often heightened for women of color.

So even though Sherry knew this might be a risk going into her job, she still wound up saying yes too often.

That is, until she got a new manager.

Sherry enlisted her manager's help.

That conversation made a difference.

It's easy to default to saying yes.

But as Sherry learned, there are big payoffs to protecting your own time and boundaries.

How do you say no without jeopardizing your reputation and relationships?

More on that after the break.