Adam Grant

She made referrals.

She learned that saying no wasn't as scary or risky as she'd expected.

It's so interesting to hear you say this as a long recovering slash mostly recovered people pleaser.

One of the things that I've been surprised by is sometimes like a clear, fast no leads people to respect me more.

We have two cats.

How'd you know?

I have to laugh at the cat comment because I'll never forget when I turned in my first book, I remember my editor reading it and saying, you know, Adam, dogs are givers and cats are takers.

No, I don't agree.

Yeah.

I think cats are, they're more selective and that means it really counts when they give.

Setting boundaries isn't a display of disrespect.

It's an expression of self-respect.

It's not about letting others down.

It's about standing up for yourself.

Saying no is not selfish.

It's an act of self-preservation.

Which brings us back to The Giving Tree, or as Topher Payne's rewrite is called, The Tree Who Set Healthy Boundaries.

His version starts when the boy is grown up and returns to the tree for the first time.

And the boy is okay with that.

He realizes he hasn't been a very good friend and begins to look after the tree, just like the tree looked after him.