Adam Lane Smith

Don't take it personally.

Just kind of like buckle down and get through it.

That was our training as marriage therapists.

To take that and then go out into the field, what I've seen is that it's usually a skill gap.

Most people don't have the skills for good relationships.

They only have skills for bad relationships.

So then when they get into a relationship, they just respond badly over and over and over as if they're married to a sociopath, as if they're dating someone who is incapable of love, empathy, kindness, problem solving.

So they default to doing everything with management and managing the other person instead of working together as people.

That's what I've seen.

When we have the skills to do it, we actually get skill mastery, competence, and confidence.

Sounds like that's what made a big difference to you.

What was the biggest skill that really pushed it for you?

I mean, all of that.

What was conflict like for you before that?

Eight years dating, building a safety net first, and then getting married.

That's a very avoidant pattern right there.

In business, too.

Okay.

I was going to say most avoidant guys are excellent in business, but until they hit a certain point where relationships are everything, then they start to fall apart.

Got it.