Adam Lane Smith

So attachment theory has been around for 70, 75 years.

And it was outdated, so I had to do an update on it.

And I started building not just the types, but the subtypes.

And there's a subtype that has avoidance as the main, but it has an internal core of anxious attachment.

It's from a little bit more damage.

And we call it quiet disorganized.

Disorganized means the blend of the two, anxious and avoidant.

Quiet disorganized is the one we see with a freeze response, where you've got limbic system fight, flight, fawn, freeze, right?

And freeze response is your brain locking down, your vagus nerve tightens, you get a vagal dorsal shutdown, and Broca's area, the speech center of the brain, diminishes rapidly to almost zero.

And it mutes you, you go selective mutism.

What your brain is doing is saying, I don't know how to solve this, and anything I do will make it worse.

because you're remembering childhood, like nothing worked.

Fight didn't work.

Flight didn't work.

Fawning, approval seeking, being kind didn't work.

Freeze, so at least no more damage is done.

But from the outside, you'll have a blank face, right?

You'll look like you don't care.

You look like you're detached.

People get angry at you because you appear to not care.