Adrian Kaler
speaker
107 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Dec 2024
Adrian Kaler’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Sure. So, hey, listeners, thanks for being here. I'm Adrian Kaler. I search for the most meaningful conversations to get leaders into effective action. But I end up coaching fascinating people from all over the world and all different industries. And the one that Ryan's talking about here is a conversation I had yesterday with a leader who's the brand leader of the fastest growing company.
cosmetic brand in the country. And she, I got connected to her because she's ex Nike and I coached a bunch of Nike people and she's elevating and elevating and elevating. And, uh, her boss just said to her yesterday, um, make sure you're not mothering your team, her, her executive team. And I had asked her, well, did you ask him what he meant by that? And she said, no, they kind of laughed it off.
And she just assumed she knew what he meant. And I assume I knew what he meant, too, and had lots of commentary about, can I please talk to this guy? Because that's anytime somebody speaks in that much metaphor, they're avoiding conversations. So she has some feedback. He has some feedback for is what I would assert.
But then it got me thinking, got us in a great conversation about what might be missing in our leadership. Because maybe she is overcompensating with the the I don't know, more feminine spirit, which is naturally throughout the ages. This isn't and everybody's different. Right. So don't be offended.
But, you know, the natural maternal spirit, feminine spirit is one that supports and sees and corrals and connects and attracts and protects. in a certain way and usually more emotionally as a trend. And the male spirit, masculine spirit is more challenge, push, direct, vision, protect with fists or tongue like that.
And that generated a huge conversation about leadership and what might be missing for her. And I coach probably 75% men and 25% badass women. But it does connect into where my commitment is for my clients, which is to be what I call a fierce advocate for them.
and sometimes that's what's missing in leadership is for men to slow down enough and connect and usually to share and to even confess and clean up the relational side of the business they just think the business strategy and the business plan will win the day and it's not that people and and you know our commitment at our firm take new ground you know we know that people generate all the issues and people solve all the issues and most great leaders
Their dysfunction isn't strategic and it's not intellectual. Their dysfunction is relational. So we've got great job security. And we love that. We're all nerds over here. So we're all very tough alpha dudes. We get that commentary all the time. But also we'll talk about very touchy, deeply emotional, relational context. There's no comfort.
We say in the room, there's no conversation too dangerous for us to be in. So anyway, you're asking what's on my mind. I'm just thinking about how men need to slow down and be more vulnerable in general. Women might need to slow down and say the thing that might, metaphorically speaking, kick the young one out of the nest. Men's dysfunction is get out of here and I don't care if you come back.
That's dysfunction. Women's dysfunction is stay here forever and I don't care if you grow. I'm speaking in hyperbole, obviously, but there's lots of room in between that, especially if we mold those together as leaders, which is like, hey, I'm going to connect with you deeply no matter what, even if you don't work for me, I'm here for you. And.
If you're going to work for me, you better have it up to the right trajectory personally. Like you need to develop yourself and continue to get better and be ruthlessly connected to current reality, which is always quite frightening for everybody to like put your arms around results. Like results are the mirror for what I actually intended, not my story about what I intended. Does that make sense?
100%.
We never say anything or don't say anything on accident. So I'll try not to get lost here in some philosophical, but it's good to put a framework up here. So in my world, I'm always paying attention to a handful of things. One is this formula. I'm guessing your audience loves formulas. So here's a formula for you guys. P plus E plus O over C equals transformation. So P is patterns. E is emphasis.
O is omission over context. Context is vision goals, whatever, like what we're actually up to. Patterns, emphasis, omission over context equals transformation. So when someone speaks in generalities, they're avoiding something. So when they speak in generalities, what they're doing is trying to.
So many ideas here mesmerize the person with an unknown statement that means whatever they want it to mean. And it's a gesture towards what they're meaning. And so let's just say we both like the bills. And it's not specific what I mean by that, but we, you know, you're from that part of the country and it's like, yeah, we both like the bills. Okay, cool.
But we might actually have very different opinions about what's good and what's bad about them and where they're going in the future and what I hate about the bills and blah, blah, blah. We might have tons of differences, but I don't want to get close to it because I'm going to romance you with my gesture towards what you like.
And so it's anytime I hide in generalities is another way of saying it. That's safer up here. It's politics is an easy way to look at this. You know, this is not a political state, but we make America great again. Wonderful. Who doesn't think that's great? Of course, that's awesome. Now chunk that down and people start to fall off the wagon at some point in the funnel, if you will.
So there is danger and specificity. There's safety in generality. That's my point. And I could think of a hundred reasons why that's true.
Yeah. Well, we call that the despair of possibility. So, yes, it's a dopamine hit to say the future is going to be better. Right. That's just what a lot of people would call hope. And you can get elected on hope to presidency. That's happened before. And it works because everybody wants to say, hey, today sucks. Tomorrow's going to be better. Follow me.
And that's what we do when you stand up and say, yeah, this quarter stuff, this economy stuff. But just follow me into the future. And we need that as humans. We need that without there's an old saying. I forget where this is in the Torah, but without vision, the people perish, this kind of concept. Yet we do know that if a declaration in the future without commitment is empty.
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