Adrian Kaler
speaker
107 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Dec 2024
Adrian Kaler’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And it's despair because we know it's a trick. We know it's a here's a shiny object. Let's let us trick the masses into saying the future is going to be better. We know it at an intrinsic level, like our bodies know it even before our brains do. Right. Because we're used to finding tricksters. We've been trained to do this over the eons. So your question was, how do I work with folks?
Well, there's that's a big distinction. So first, you must be willing to declare something into the future, like make a promise. That's what transforms reality is make a promise. Like, here's what I'm here's this is what's going to happen. And every great leader does that, stands up and says, that's the hill we're going for. But there's a distinction between promise and commitment.
So promise is to go forth from an etymological. And I'm a nerd. So let me nerd out for a second. Etymologically, promise me is to go forth. which is important. I'm going to go to that hill. Commitment is to go with. So prometere, cometere, to go with, like I am with my word, which is the distinction you're talking about.
So I will do no matter what, whatever it takes to get there, that's what I'm going to do. So I'm going to make a plan and I'll prove to you my promise by making a plan and then watch me walk my plan. And by the way, if it's not, if it's not working, I will know. Because I am my word. It's not like I'm going to say I'm going to do this.
And then if it didn't work out, I'll come up with 10 reasons, which is what most people do. It was the economy. It was the stupid team. It was the competition. It was my family member that died. Whatever. Fill in the blank about what external circumstance generated my failure, which is what the human mind is apt to do is. be a victim to circumstance.
But if you're heroic, then you say, oh, I for my circumstances around my commitment. That's what heroes do, right? Yes, most people won't do that. They can, but they won't. Heroes decide to do it anyway. So when I'm working with people, what usually is missing
is if they are deeply connected to the future, like we're talking about, like I'm clear about where I'm going and where we're going, that's necessary. But most, that's kind of easy and it's very satiating. It's like eating Skittles. It's great, you know, for short term. Ask my kids, they love it. And then, but what they don't do is get equally connected and committed to current reality.
Like a knowledge of, a deep understanding of what's happening now. Because if they don't do the math on what generated these results that aren't as good as the one we say we're going to, but if I'm unwilling to put my arms around how I created the crap we're in now, then I, no matter what, will create crap in the future because I am a pattern.
And if I don't question myself as a pattern, I will naturally do what my pattern does. So I might have a great vision, have a great plan, but burn people out. That's what got me here. That's what will happen in the future because I am that pattern.
So people aren't willing because it's more vulnerable and it takes more humility to own current reality and furthermore, own how each person around the table co-created what we have. We tend to like to peg it on somebody and it was the CEO or the CFO or the CSO or the CMO like you or whatever. And it was that person instead of, oh, no, no. Every meeting I was in,
I created the outcome, even if it wasn't my meeting. So if a team is willing to take that level of ruthless, rigorous responsibility, then we've got a whole ballgame. Then nothing can stop them.
I mean, that's what you don't have to call me. Call somebody because you're in the culture. So it's first off, it is hard to do surgery on yourself. And most people won't. And to be honest, most of us can't, including the guy talking right now, because I am so entrenched in my thinking. And not a lot of our thinking is novel. Most of it's wired into us. And so it's really hard.
There's an old transformational saying that you've got to get outside the box. But the instructions to get outside the box are on the outside of the box. So you need to get some feedback. And that's horrific for us as human beings because we're very, without even thinking about it, we wake up into the world egomaniacs. That I am a certain way. This is who I am and this is who you are.
Yeah, it is Tammy. And even that thinking of like judgment and contempt and superiority and victimization, that's just built into the human brain. We don't get a vote on that. That's just gravity for us. So we call it survival needs. Looking good, feeling good, being right, being in control. That's gravity.
Now, you can get past that, you can get beyond that, or maybe even stand on that, the metaphor we'd really use, because that's not going anywhere. We can look out from that view and then see something. So to more succinctly answer your question, you start with yourself. and say, okay, what's here? And get real about what's here. What are the dynamics? And can I get language around them?
You must put language around dynamics. That's the first thing, is language is the, language gives us handles for reality. And we all have a sense of what's happening, but we all have a different language for what's happening. So if I'm running the show, if I'm the CEO, if I'm answering the question like that, then I gotta work to get language around the current dynamics.
We've got tons of frameworks for this, by the way, but this will just give the bullet points. Get language for it. Now, think about if nothing changes, what will happen next? And walk that all the way out. We call that the parade of horribles. So if this doesn't shift, what's going to happen?
You've got to walk it all the way to death, essentially, of the company, maybe even everybody gets fired, including you, and public ridicule, and kids run away, and blah, blah, blah. Let it get dirty.
um because the human brain moves five times faster to escape hell than to pursue heaven we know that so you got to let it get bad because it is true something like that is true that if i don't transform this which might be shut the company down it might be fire everybody but anyway there's lots of layers in between but if i don't transform this hell's coming and i you have to motivate myself to shift because nothing has worked up until now that's what we know that we let it get here on purpose not on accident
There are payoffs for it being dysfunctional. These are types of thinking that people don't do because people say it's dysfunctional and I hate it, but they don't mean it. Like they mean it to themselves, but it's not true is what I really mean by that. It's dysfunctional and I love it. How do I know that? Because it's dysfunctional. And if I say, how long has it been this way?
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