Alain De Botton

speaker

1,037 appearances 5 recordings 5 series first heard Jan 2024 last heard 1 Jul

Alain De Botton’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 4 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Conversations · Special Collection: Alain de Botton on the true hardwork of love and relationships · 22 May 2026 podcast

you know wonderful merging of souls and suddenly you're arguing over the socks and it's all about budgeting correctly for difficulties and I think that the cult of romanticism encourages us to see that something's gone seriously wrong if you're having that towel argument about whether the towel should or shouldn't be up or down whatever and

You know, arguments are never as bitter as when two quite, you know, well-educated, ambitious people say things like, I'm above having an argument over this petty thing.

I know so many lovers who are hilarious to watch because there are conflicts between them, but they refuse to take this conflict seriously.

They say things like, well, it's only the remote control or who's too stupid to have a long argument about whether the window is open or shut at night.

But then they go on to have enormous arguments about these, but in a bitter argument.

and low sort of guerrilla warfare way.

And I think, again, it's the result of a view that if you are a serious and thoughtful and passionate person, you don't engage in conversations about socks and laundry and all those things.

Those things are for the little people.

And that's a catastrophic view to the success of a long-term relationship.

Because you must have that conversation, sadly, about the socks and the bathroom towel.

You've got to have it and you've got to have it with generosity and enthusiasm.

Look, I think the reason why kissing is exciting and special is nothing to do with the physical thing, because actually it's not that nice.

You know, what is it?

I'm going to place my moist mouth on someone else's moist mouth.

Exactly.

It's the psychological meaning.

And really what it means is you have given me permission to enter your life.

That's really what it is, because normally the mouth is so private.

You don't go anywhere near anyone else's mouth unless you're given permission.

And I think the thrilling thing, which we sometimes call sexual excitement, but

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