Alain De Botton

The more you insist that it does, the more you're going to have an imperfect one.

So to go easy on one another, a relationship is always an encounter between two very broken people who are just trying to get by.

And, you know, the other person's not trying to do you down.

The other person is just struggling with their own issues, etc.

So if that's the starting point of a relationship, it's much more helpful than, you know,

we are two paragons of, uh, you know, beauty and perfection and we're all, you know, whatever.

I mean, at the school of life, we always recommend that when people go on a date, one of the first questions they should ask is, uh, a relatively early question is how are you mad?

Um, to the, to the partner, um, to the prospective partner.

In other words, the utility of that question is we're all mad.

The question is just, do you have any insight into what your madness is?

Um,

And it's fine to be mad.

I'll tell you how I'm mad.

You'll tell me how you're mad.

And we won't make such a taboo of it.

So that helps, I think, when embarking on a relationship.

Also, it does help to go and have some therapy.

Go and look into yourself.

Have a basic grasp of attachment theory.

Attachment theory worked out.