Alain De Botton

speaker

1,037 appearances 5 recordings 5 series first heard Jan 2024 last heard 1 Jul

Alain De Botton’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 4 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Conversations · Special Collection: Alain de Botton on the true hardwork of love and relationships · 22 May 2026 podcast

a partner is a legitimate part of love.

I mean, we should, in a good relationship, we should change one another.

We should soften each other's rougher edges.

We should be able to point stuff out and we should be able to be heard.

And I think the bad relationships are those where any attempt to teach a partner about anything is seen as a betrayal or an insult, like, you know, crossed arms and self-righteousness, like, don't lecture me.

And I think, you know, it really helps if we can gently try and

I don't want to say that every relationship is worth staying in.

I think the thing that decides it is if you can look at your partner and consider all the things that are wrong in your life and the things that are making you unhappy, and if you can honestly say, you know what, the predominant share of everything that's wrong in my life really is my partner's fault.

In that case, get out.

There's no need to stay.

That partner is dragging you down.

But if hand on heart, you look at your partner and you look at the things that are bitter and sad about your life,

Then, and you say, well, you know, they might follow me into a next relationship.

I'm not sure that I can neatly pin all my problems to this person.

Then don't leave.

Because it's almost like you're encountering the bitterness of life in the company of another human being.

But not because of that human being.

They just happen to be there.

So don't blame them.

And, you know, we've had in the U.K.,

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