Alaina Urquhart

I lie staring eyed on the bed in front of the mirror and let my saliva foam and drip from my mouth.

I step outside myself in detached imagination.

No.

Even a one-time thing I could not get past.

And fantasy wasn't the only place that he was starting to experiment with risky and interesting behavior.

He'd also started creating dangerous situations where he could rescue his sexual partners from danger.

Oh, which is very interesting because that's how his father and mother got together.

Right?

Yeah.

One night in late fall 1978, after inviting three men back to his house for a drink.

Damn.

Yeah, he's hedging his bets, I guess.

Dennis waited until all three had passed out before placing his winter jacket on the stove and setting it on fire.

What the fuck?

Yeah.

That's a complex and a half.

And in retrospect, these dark fantasies and risky behaviors would be seen as clear indicators that Nilsen was spiraling deeper into something bad.

Big time.

He later said, I was becoming depressed and conditioned to a belief that I was impossible to live with.

But rather than seek any kind of medical or psychological help, he found a new way to cope with his stress and anxiety while also indulging his fantasies.