Alan Carr

LAUGHTER

Drops the rain as big as your head.

It's actually one of those trips that we laugh about a lot.

And Katie got about 400 midgie bites on her legs whilst eating a bit of fish that was entirely bone.

Anyway, we cut it short, flew to New York, and that is one of the greatest cities in the world.

And I was supposed to be writing about it for a newspaper.

Really?

And I wrote what I thought was a very funny article about this catastrophic trip.

And they said, you can't really write this because you know it was free.

I said, it was free, apart from the £1,000 upgrade that I paid for.

And then they hung up.

Have you ever been on the phone and then realised the other person's gone?

You're still ranting away.

I've seen celebs.

I saw Sting on a plane.

Sting was on a plane and this was in Australia and it was a smaller plane, like an internal flight and he was up the front and he was kneeling on his seat and talking to the people in the row behind.

I don't know if he knew him or not.

And

So the entire plane could see Sting for the entire journey.

It felt a little bit performative.