Alex Cooper

If anything, there's something really beautiful about it because it means that there are stakes involved and you could get rejected and that's okay.

You're putting yourself out there.

Again, going back to your Spotify playlist, it recommends the exact songs that you also will like because you listen to the song and then you go on your app and it tells you the exact jeans that you should buy because you bought these last year.

And it's like the unpredictability is actually something that we should lean into.

Because there is so much unknown and there's things to explore about yourself and that person.

But when we are so focused on figuring them out, it kind of completely denies the ability to grow and to grow into the relationship if we're just looking for the answer on day one.

you know if you put it out and the other person answers in kind you know that something is happening between us right and if they don't it's okay like you will find someone else let's say someone finally is like all right esther i am going to approach dating now i'm going to be less stressed i'm going to allow myself to just move past that fear of the unpredictable and i'm going to lean in

I think we've heard people say, you know, this person checks all my boxes, right?

In your opinion, when is it realistic to have a list of qualities you're looking for in a partner?

And when does that actually end up instead limiting you?

Wait, like I want to get a product review.

Are you a five stars?

That's actually so humbling.

And I...

Do you do that?

No, I was going to say I'm married and I even was like, because I used to do that.

And I think it's so honest what you're saying is like we all look inward.

Half the time we have expectations for people that we don't even meet ourselves.

Like some of the things I used to expect.

Lower the stakes.