Alex Mackenzie

So even if I didn't quit, I would have lost my job.

Just everything's Alex Tells Jokes, whether it's social media or my website, alextellsjokes.com.

Yeah, thanks for having me, man.

Looking forward to doing this.

Oh, a finger-sized nipple for sure.

The utility in nipple-sized fingers just makes it hard.

I couldn't get into my iPhone probably.

None of the finger scanners would work.

I wouldn't be able to pick up my favorite water bottle, you know, nipple-sized fingers for sure.

And those maybe if I could learn to control them, you know, that could be a little gag on stage.

Every time I had a punch on it, I could twirl tassels.

My career would probably take off.

Well, I didn't know that you were one of those fancy guys that had a fancy iPhone.

You know, I guess you're obviously not a comedian and you can afford a new one.

Alex, your take?

Oh, you know, the itchy is enticing because if you're itching, you kind of look smart.

You know, if I'm constantly doing this, I just look like I'm thinking.

Right.

But I would go with sticky because I have abandonment issues.

And if I was very sticky, then maybe someone would actually stay with me.