Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa

So lower the expectations on that one for your own sake.

Now let's talk about these friends.

There's two roads you can go down.

One

just accept that they're probably like if they haven't messaged you in months and if they didn't mess invite you to the christmas party and you felt that you were close and there's they've kind of like dropped off the radar you can just say well i'm going to take their actions as communication

actions speak louder than words they are not interested if they wanted to they would I'm just not going to expect anything on my birthday I've got to really prep myself for them not to message me I'm not going to be waiting for that message and this friendship is probably done that's number one option one which would be quite I think reasonable if you wanted to take that option because at the end of the day yes if you wanted to you would kind of thing option two if you're like no that wouldn't sit right with me option two but you have to be okay with any outcome is to contact them

But when you contact someone, especially someone who's not closely in your life currently, like exactly in this situation or an ex or whatever, you gotta be prepared for all possible outcomes.

And that's three.

One, that they don't reply at all.

Two, that it's a positive response.

Of course you're prepared for that.

And three, that they do reply and it's something you don't wanna hear.

If you are prepared for either of those outcomes, then I recommend for the sake of your own getting it off your chest, I do recommend contacting them.

And it could be something along the lines of... And also, can I just say, if you're going to contact them to reprimand them, don't bother, okay?

I don't like it.

If you care about the friendship...

and you think that maybe something went wrong and you want to resurrect it, then you have to come from a place of vulnerability.

If you care about confirming that you were the victim in a situation and you want to reprimand friends who aren't even your friends, they're going to look at this and being like, no wonder we're not friends.

She's literally like scolding us and we don't even talk.

Okay.