Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa

So there is hope, okay?

Hopefully that helps.

Last question.

i'm so sorry you're going through that's fucking awful especially when yeah like you had such a healthy relationship there were no red flags everything was going really well he just yeah i hate i hate this for you now i know you're not specifically asking like a specific question but i do want to like let's we'll talk we'll kind of unravel it there's so many layers to cheating right

There's the different kinds of cheating.

I always say that for me, if I was gonna get cheated on, I would rather this kind of thing, like a one night stand and then you come clean the next day because at the very least, while you're actually, I mean, no one wants to be cheated on full stop and it hurts.

fucking a lot regardless.

And I've been cheated on in both ways.

I've been cheated on one night stand kind of vibes like yours and I've been cheated on affair kind of cheating on.

And I prefer, lol, like take your pick, I prefer the affair one, especially if they come clean because it's like at least you're not spinning a web of lies and fully getting in my psyche and like trying to fool me like a fuckwit.

At least you've gone and done the bad thing and then you've come clean and thought, hey, this is like –

what I've done and I hate that I've done it and yes I've gone and broken the trust but I've been honest you know so in a way the fact that he um you didn't say he came clean but I'm guessing that's how you found out I'm guessing he came clean to you in a way that's obviously a lot of vulnerability and strength in the relationship while it feels like a massive crack there are a lot of good things out of that now if the only reason what what I'm wondering here is

Is that really, maybe the fact that he went and did that, maybe the last three weeks trying to like correct and change and do the work and all of that, maybe he came to the realization that he's not in the headspace to be in the relationship at all.

Maybe the fact that he cheated made him question like, why did I cheat?

Why?

Yes, I was really drunk, but really ultimately what's led me to this thing?

Is it puberty?

Duly just that I was like, oh, I'm just going to do something crazy.

Is it like sometimes people sit with these thoughts and, yes, it's the guilt, but sometimes that rumination also makes them be like, maybe there was an underlying thing here that I wasn't fully in on this relationship.

I wasn't fully committed.