Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa

Because if someone said something to you in a mean way and there's no context, you're going to take it personally.

But if someone says something mean and you know that they just were involved in a car accident and their stress is at an all-time high, are you going to take it as personally?

Probably not because you'd be like, wow, this person's like teetering on the edge right now and I just happened to be there.

So I always try and think, all right, perspective, there could have been a million things that have gotten this person to be this way.

And...

Even if they are an asshole, it still helps me to feel that way because it's giving them the benefit of the doubt and it makes me feel better.

So whether it's the truth or not, irrelevant, that's just the headspace that I'm going to be in.

So when people are mean, I just think, oh, I wonder what's going on in their day.

Probably not a good day.

That's just what I think.

I don't think, oh, my God, I'm fucked, I'm this, I'm that.

So perspective, perspective, perspective.

Always think benefit of the doubt, there must be shit going on in that person's life.

I'm just going to step aside, not let it...

you know, change how I feel about myself and factor in what my worthiness is based on their behavior.

The third point is care more and not less.

So this is to take the time to invest in and to care about things.

Now, I really want to pull this apart from this idea of giving less of a fuck because I'm really big on stress less.

And give less of a fuck about certain things.

But there is a difference between it because there is a difference between being invested and interested in something that you can seek your teeth into versus stressing about something that you have no control over, as in someone else's actions, someone else's thoughts, a bad decision that you made a while ago that's like playing on your mind and it's ruining your life and it's just –