Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa

And instead of ending it in a healthy way, I've gone and kind of sabotaged it for myself.

Maybe he's come to that realisation.

I don't know if you're on talking terms with this, but this might be worth bringing up with him, saying, you know, as hard as it is, I'd rather –

hear the truth than what you think is going to make me feel better i think a lot of people think oh well if i let you down easy and if i say something like the reason i'm breaking up with you is because you don't deserve to be with someone that shit like cunt shut the fuck up if i want to be in a relationship with you it doesn't matter who deserves what doesn't deserve it like we're not in that headspace if i'm in love i'm in love i don't care about deserving shit so it actually doesn't help when someone says something like that it's not helpful however if you said i'm gonna be dead honest with you

I think you're fucking awesome.

But after having cheated on you, I thought long and hard about it.

And I realized that there was this deep underlying thing that I just didn't want to be in this relationship as much as I can acknowledge that you're a great, great catch, not for me.

And I sabotaged it because I didn't know how to like, I consciously wasn't aware that I needed to end it to your face.

Because at least if someone was to say something like that or if you were to, you know, then it would help you be like, okay, as fucking heartbreaking as that is, maybe even more so, at least it kind of gives me a definitive there's no fucking turning around.

Because when you are healing from a relationship breakdown…

this is when I say hope is a weak dog.

A lot of people think that I'm really awful by saying hope is a weak dog.

I talk about it specifically in hoping for your ex to come back in that context.

When you're in this nor here nor there, are they going to come back?

Do they still love me?

Maybe, oh my God, but they're still in love with me and they just feel really guilty so they left me and it's really tragic and I've got to go through this versus this is never going to happen.

The reason this relationship is over is because I ultimately don't want to be with you.

Then you've got that

definitive answer there's no hoping there's no well you're going to turn around maybe you'll change your mind there's none of that you know for a fact it is dead in the water so you can then as painful as it is you don't you might not recognize it at the time but that's where the real healing begins when the answer is clear when there isn't a oh maybe one oh no i need to get over it but then tomorrow i'm really hopeful and then today i'm really realistic and then tomorrow that fucks you around and wastes your time and time is something you're never ever ever going to get back

Now, what do you do?