Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa

So is it more, do I think this missing him and this pain is coming more from the lack of control you have over this situation and wanting control?

Or is it because you think, wow, him leaving made me realise that I actually like him a lot more than I gave myself credit for, than I realised, okay?

Because, you know, sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone kind of thing, kind of like that, okay?

So I want you to really figure out where is most of this pain coming from?

Because I don't want to dig deep and figure out exactly why he did what he did because...

Ultimately, we can't really read other people's minds.

We can only, you know, look at their behavior and their consistency at face value and kind of go off that to make our own decisions moving forward and how to heal and how to process and get over things.

But

There is a slim chance, and again, I don't really like doing this because I don't want to put ideas in people's heads, but because you had left him prior to this, like the first time, maybe there's a slim chance that he's kind of umming and ahhing and, you know, talking himself out of it, maybe thinking that you're not that into it, maybe thinking that he needs to cut his losses, maybe worried that you'll leave again, thinking maybe this just isn't right.

So before I address how to actually start losing feelings for someone, because I will go into that,

I want you to make sure, is there a chance that it actually is all great?

He actually is a good catch and maybe he's pulled away.

And is it worth one good conversation?

Is it worth reaching out one time and really asking for a very open and honest conversation about how you feel, about why it ended the first time, about

you know with the situationship about where you are at now and really seeing what he like where his head is at and how he actually feels about you so I wanted to just put that out there for you to ask yourself is it worth having that conversation now if the answer is no no I actually know ultimately this is not the relationship I want to be in it's not really the kind of person that I want to be dating how do I begin to lose feelings for someone one of the reasons why the feelings are so strong is because it was done to you you know like

So many people I know, so many people I know, you probably know it, everyone listening probably knows it, it's probably even happened to you.

You'll be in a relationship, you're kind of like, ah, I'm kind of off it, I'm not really feeling it, I don't know.

You even maybe break up with someone, then for whatever reason you get back together, only for them to dump you and then you are devastated.

And then you're like, wait a minute, why am I so devastated when I firstly maybe ended it once or wanted to end it or was so unsure, but then when they pulled the pin and

It's now made me question everything.