Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa

And I think that this really comes from this aversion that we have to look to loss.

We are very loss aversive people.

When we are in control of letting something go, it's not to say it doesn't hurt when you're the one that chooses to dump someone, but you feel in control of the situation.

Okay.

It's a different kind of hurt.

because you were the one that pulled the pin.

The reasons stay quite fresh in your mind.

And you feel like if I, you know, if I really changed my mind, I probably could get that person back, at least in the short term.

Okay.

So I think a lot of the pain that you feel is this total lack of control over the situation.

You feel that now that it's gone and

It's kind of like the grass is greener on the other side.

I was like wanting to be out of the relationship.

And now that I'm out of the relationship, I feel like I should be back.

You then think maybe there were more of a catch than I realized.

You start to question why it is that they left you.

And then it leaves you very confused, very...

un kind of unsteady with how you feel about this situation and that is one of the like major contributing factors to you feeling so much pain because it's this loss it's this confusion it's the fear that maybe it was the right thing and then it was flipped on its head so when you are going through this how do you quickly or you know as quickly as possible start to move on and lose feelings for this person and get over it so there's a few things

So number one, of course, when you are feeling the feeling, allow yourself to feel it, but don't spiral.

So what I mean by that is this whole idea of name entertainment, which I talk about very, very often.