Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa

So it's important to address the feeling and process that feeling in the moment because avoiding it doesn't help either.

Avoiding it, it's you not processing.

It doesn't get to come up and out and process through your mind and then released.

It's something that you kind of

push down down down down down and then it could be a year later and then it bubbles up and you're like how am i still like hurting over this person sorry that was just my phone messaging um going off anyway so that's why i'd never recommend for you to like push your feelings down and suppress your feelings because it will always manifest in another area in your life whether it be that same thing a year later or whether it be you blowing up at people that are close to you or you feeling overly stressed or you just feeling unhappy so

When you feel the feeling, say, oh, I'm missing this person right now.

Like what is it that I'm feeling?

Am I missing them?

Am I feeling lonely and it's making me miss them?

Is it like just – but name the feeling either in your head or out loud.

And then if it feels like you're about to cry, actually cry.

I've got a whole episode on the tactical cry and why it's good for you.

You actually release –

neurochemicals through your tears that actually are soothing and make you feel better that don't get released if you hold back the tears.

Very important.

And it's also different to like tears that you get when it's a windy day.

It's like emotional tears are actually good to cry.

Versus spiraling.

Spiraling is where you...

i'm feeling really down so i'm now going to get the saddest imaginable playlist and i'm going to troll through that fucking playlist and find the song that really feels like a dagger in my heart and then i'm going to have it on loop and i'm going to like spiral and like then while that song is playing i'm going to scroll through their social media and then all the messages that we sent each other in the past that's the difference okay