Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa

And that's why it hurts so much.

So how to feel back in control is to take control of your feelings by talking, by using your logic side of the brain to talk to your emotional side.

So then you're going to say...

I was thinking about leaving this person a few months ago for this reason, for this reason, and for this reason.

Think of three things.

And it's not to say you need to hate on this person.

It's not saying that you've got to turn them into this awful enemy in your head.

It's just to say, this is why we were not compatible.

This was an ick about them that really like grounded my gears.

Every time I thought about this, it kind of grossed me out or it didn't click or it didn't feel right.

When this person said that thing one time, it triggered this thing in me that made me realize it was like a bit of a red flag being like, we're just not a good fit.

So you want to think of three counter arguments to your emotional missing or your emotional intense feelings towards this person to cancel out that feeling, okay?

And trust me, it's going to start to feel better and better and better when you do that, right?

um another thing that i recommend you do is whenever possible do go cold turkey so if you've decided that you're not going to reach out to this person make sure you're not following them on socials anymore at very least have them muted on socials don't be messaging them if it's possible just delete the messages you want to kind of be like a line in the sand if i'm not going to be with this person ever again romantically i need to kind of not pay attention to any more of these romantic messages ever again obviously if i saw them down the street

yeah, I might politely say hello.

It's not about, you know, they're dead to me kind of energy, but it's more like I need to really have a clear line.

And if I can get rid of these messages or delete these messages or mute them or unfollow them, then that's going to really help clean that slate and for you to start to move on.

And then lastly, of course, if you've been seeing this person quite regularly, you need to replace that void.

If a person dumps you in your situation specifically, if this person has left you, especially out of the blue when things are starting to ramp up again,

Think of the times that you had in your mind at least allocated for dates with this person and replace those nights with something that's going to be really fun and entertaining.