Alfie

The girl on the gurney was gone from my mind completely by the time my mother woke me the next morning. I was fully dressed under the covers, and I was not ready to be accosted when she burst in and immediately started going on about how long my shift had been.

The girl on the gurney was gone from my mind completely by the time my mother woke me the next morning. I was fully dressed under the covers, and I was not ready to be accosted when she burst in and immediately started going on about how long my shift had been.

It was not an ideal living situation, much as I loved my mum, and the weird thing was she hadn't talked about it at all, really, until that morning, the day after I saw the girl on the gurney died. I've wondered about that since, you know. Like, it feels like a weird cosmic coincidence.

It was not an ideal living situation, much as I loved my mum, and the weird thing was she hadn't talked about it at all, really, until that morning, the day after I saw the girl on the gurney died. I've wondered about that since, you know. Like, it feels like a weird cosmic coincidence.

Casper says it probably wasn't a coincidence, despite how many times I've told him that the girl on the gurney was no worse than any of the other patients that died that night, apart from how it affected Hayley, but he doesn't believe me. It's bloody survivorship bias, that's what it is.

Casper says it probably wasn't a coincidence, despite how many times I've told him that the girl on the gurney was no worse than any of the other patients that died that night, apart from how it affected Hayley, but he doesn't believe me. It's bloody survivorship bias, that's what it is.

All hindsight, making connections, it wouldn't have been possible to make at all at the time, but which feel really obvious when you look back. Only it's not obvious, it's just convenient. That's just how it is with Casper, though. Sorry, I'm getting off track again.

All hindsight, making connections, it wouldn't have been possible to make at all at the time, but which feel really obvious when you look back. Only it's not obvious, it's just convenient. That's just how it is with Casper, though. Sorry, I'm getting off track again.

My mother was standing at the kitchen sink, holding her cup of tea, and when I walked in she said, you look awful, even though she hadn't even turned around. I told her thanks and set about making some breakfast. One of my sisters had clearly stolen my expensive imported golden grahams because there were only a few stale pieces left at the bottom of the box.

My mother was standing at the kitchen sink, holding her cup of tea, and when I walked in she said, you look awful, even though she hadn't even turned around. I told her thanks and set about making some breakfast. One of my sisters had clearly stolen my expensive imported golden grahams because there were only a few stale pieces left at the bottom of the box.

I padded them out with cornflakes and was mid-retrieve of a spoon from the dishwasher when my mum said, have you thought any more about moving out? I froze in place like a particularly shit street performer. I looked at my mother with a raised eyebrow.

I padded them out with cornflakes and was mid-retrieve of a spoon from the dishwasher when my mum said, have you thought any more about moving out? I froze in place like a particularly shit street performer. I looked at my mother with a raised eyebrow.

The truth was I had thought about it almost constantly since the moment I'd had to move back in, and it was only very partially to do with the laissez-faire approach everyone else in my immediate family seemed to have with cutlery storage.

The truth was I had thought about it almost constantly since the moment I'd had to move back in, and it was only very partially to do with the laissez-faire approach everyone else in my immediate family seemed to have with cutlery storage.

Mum's house was, like I say, a less-than-ideal living situation for me, and it was not just because I was forced to share a single bathroom with another adult, an almost-adult and a pre-teen. Mid-morning is a good bet for showers in Mum's house.

Mum's house was, like I say, a less-than-ideal living situation for me, and it was not just because I was forced to share a single bathroom with another adult, an almost-adult and a pre-teen. Mid-morning is a good bet for showers in Mum's house.

Tammy, my littlest sister, has bats in the evenings, mum showers at the crack of dawn, and Grace, in the glory of her late teens, does not usually emerge from her bedroom until early afternoon. When I first moved back, my old bedroom was full of Christmas decorations, including the artificial tree, still decked out in all its bauble and light glory.

Tammy, my littlest sister, has bats in the evenings, mum showers at the crack of dawn, and Grace, in the glory of her late teens, does not usually emerge from her bedroom until early afternoon. When I first moved back, my old bedroom was full of Christmas decorations, including the artificial tree, still decked out in all its bauble and light glory.

Mum told me her friend Janet had been doing this for years, you just wrap the bastard in a couple of loops of cling film and shove it out of sight. Janet had a spare room, which mum had never had before, so as soon as the opportunity arose, she ceased it.

Mum told me her friend Janet had been doing this for years, you just wrap the bastard in a couple of loops of cling film and shove it out of sight. Janet had a spare room, which mum had never had before, so as soon as the opportunity arose, she ceased it.