Alison Cheperdak

What is something I'm genuinely interested in that this other person will also be interested in talking about that we can talk about for a little while?

So that can be like something you've read, watched, listened to recently and enjoyed, something you're looking forward to, something you've been spending a lot of time on recently, traditions you enjoy, travel, performing arts, food, sports, hobbies, the list goes on and on.

So you don't have to answer every question that's asked, but what you do want to do is pivot to something else.

So you can say something like, I don't really have an update there, or I'm not ready to share about that, but I'd love to hear about, or I'd love to tell you about, and then pivot that way.

This comes up often when people are asked milestone questions, or it can happen in the political sense of like, sometimes people, if you work in politics, they'll ask you questions about things, not realizing that it's classified or not realizing that it's sensitive and

even if you wanted to you're really not at liberty to share so you can just say something like i'm not able to share about that right now but i'd love to share about whatever and it's more about the pivot and not making them feel like oh my gosh how dare you ask me about that and also i like to approach responding like when some people ask you questions they might be trying to push your buttons

But a lot of people ask questions that aren't that appropriate, but they don't really mean anything by it.

Like they're not trying to be malicious.

Like, for example, asking someone, why are you still single is rude.

But most people who ask it, I think they're thinking like, you are so amazing.

How in the world are you not married?

Right.

So remember that and just say like, oh, if I only had a crystal ball or something like, I don't know, but I'd love to share about whatever.

How have you been?

How was that trip?

That kind of thing.

When are you getting married?

And it's also, it's okay to be honest.

Like sometimes these questions can be really cutting and really painful and you bring up a great point.

A lot of times questions where the answer is a number are kind of rude.