Alison Cheperdak

Like you don't need to ask someone how tall they are.

Like just because someone's really, really tall does not mean that you can be like, how tall are you?

Yeah, you don't need to know the answer.

I've never met anyone that tall.

And like when you ask someone like how much do you weigh?

It's just, it's a very odd thing.

And same goes for like how many children do you want to have?

Or what did you score on that test?

Or how big is your home?

How much did that cost?

There's a lot of,

There's a lot of those types of questions that are just not very appropriate, but you don't need to answer them.

So just, I hope people feel empowered.

Things that you don't want to say to anyone who's experiencing grief are things that start with like at least, things that minimize their experience.

Like at least they're in a better place or at least they weren't in pain or at least you have other siblings or at least like basically like it's not as bad, it could have been worse.

Those types of things are not generally super comforting.

Also asking questions that are curious, like asking about a cause of death or funeral plans or like just personal things that you don't need to know, not super helpful.

wait for people to share, or even if you think someone wants to share with you, you can say like, I want to be here to support you if you need someone to listen.

I'm not going to ask personal questions, but if you want to share personal things and you need someone to be that person for you, I'm happy to be that person.

Those are things that are more helpful to say.