Alison Wood Brooks

and that they have amazing intuition and amazing intuitive judgment about how to behave in the moment. When in fact, what you can't see is all of the stuff that's happening under the surface for them. You don't see the many years when they were working hard to develop a skill, or like you, John, working to overcome some sort of challenge in their communicative abilities.

You don't see in the moment how hard they're working Think listening so intently to what you're saying and thinking about how they can relate it to some other idea. All of that work is invisible. And so we come to believe, oh, this is just easier for some people than others. And maybe I'm not naturally gifted at it.

You don't see in the moment how hard they're working Think listening so intently to what you're saying and thinking about how they can relate it to some other idea. All of that work is invisible. And so we come to believe, oh, this is just easier for some people than others. And maybe I'm not naturally gifted at it.

You don't see in the moment how hard they're working Think listening so intently to what you're saying and thinking about how they can relate it to some other idea. All of that work is invisible. And so we come to believe, oh, this is just easier for some people than others. And maybe I'm not naturally gifted at it.

The truth is the best conversationalists work hard at it and they probably have worked hard at it for a long time.

The truth is the best conversationalists work hard at it and they probably have worked hard at it for a long time.

The truth is the best conversationalists work hard at it and they probably have worked hard at it for a long time.

Absolutely. Thank you. That's very nice positive feedback, John. So T is for topics. Topics are, let me just say the maxims to start and then I'll dive into each one. T is for topics. A is for asking. L is for levity. And K is for kindness. So let me break down each one of those briefly.

Absolutely. Thank you. That's very nice positive feedback, John. So T is for topics. Topics are, let me just say the maxims to start and then I'll dive into each one. T is for topics. A is for asking. L is for levity. And K is for kindness. So let me break down each one of those briefly.

Absolutely. Thank you. That's very nice positive feedback, John. So T is for topics. Topics are, let me just say the maxims to start and then I'll dive into each one. T is for topics. A is for asking. L is for levity. And K is for kindness. So let me break down each one of those briefly.

T is for topics is really, we know that conversation, we have to choose topics and conversation, but most of us think about, oh, what are we going to open with? What is our opener? What's the first topic or what's the most important topic? When in fact, a helpful mindset shift can be to realize that you're choosing topics every time you're speaking.

T is for topics is really, we know that conversation, we have to choose topics and conversation, but most of us think about, oh, what are we going to open with? What is our opener? What's the first topic or what's the most important topic? When in fact, a helpful mindset shift can be to realize that you're choosing topics every time you're speaking.

T is for topics is really, we know that conversation, we have to choose topics and conversation, but most of us think about, oh, what are we going to open with? What is our opener? What's the first topic or what's the most important topic? When in fact, a helpful mindset shift can be to realize that you're choosing topics every time you're speaking.

We're making these little micro moves to have steered topics. And we're asking ourselves, should we stay on this topic or should we move to something else? Should we drift gently to something else or should we jump cut to something extremely different? Should we call back to something we talked about earlier or should we move elsewhere?

We're making these little micro moves to have steered topics. And we're asking ourselves, should we stay on this topic or should we move to something else? Should we drift gently to something else or should we jump cut to something extremely different? Should we call back to something we talked about earlier or should we move elsewhere?

We're making these little micro moves to have steered topics. And we're asking ourselves, should we stay on this topic or should we move to something else? Should we drift gently to something else or should we jump cut to something extremely different? Should we call back to something we talked about earlier or should we move elsewhere?

And we're making these sort of small moves every time we speak. And our partners making these small moves every time they speak as well. So managing, we can all learn to manage topics more effectively. We should be thinking about how the topics we choose can serve our intentions, our goals. So if my goal is to ask you for advice, I need to work up the courage to actually ask you for advice.

And we're making these sort of small moves every time we speak. And our partners making these small moves every time they speak as well. So managing, we can all learn to manage topics more effectively. We should be thinking about how the topics we choose can serve our intentions, our goals. So if my goal is to ask you for advice, I need to work up the courage to actually ask you for advice.

And we're making these sort of small moves every time we speak. And our partners making these small moves every time they speak as well. So managing, we can all learn to manage topics more effectively. We should be thinking about how the topics we choose can serve our intentions, our goals. So if my goal is to ask you for advice, I need to work up the courage to actually ask you for advice.

If I forget to ask you for advice, I probably haven't served the goal that I was looking to achieve in that conversation. If I want to make you laugh, I need to raise topics that are going to be fun to talk about to make you laugh. So whatever your goals are, your topics should follow along with your intentions and just realizing that we're making these choices all the time. Now, a very...