Alison Wood Brooks

You use the phrase shared responsibility, and it's true because every conversation is sort of jointly constructed by multiple people.

Things get much more complicated in groups.

We feel like group conversation is the same task as one-on-one conversation because you're speaking and listening.

But actually, as soon as a third person pulls up a chair, it's possible then for one person in the group to say nothing and still be involved in the conversation, still be sort of eavesdropping on the other two.

And group conversation is such a coordination kerfuffle that getting these airtime dynamics right is very, very hard.

And so...

I think there are things that Eduardo could do to sort of nudge the quiet person to participate more, right?

You can make sure that you're making eye contact with quiet members of a group to make sure that they feel seen and included and sort of give them a wink like, hey, I want to hear from you.

And the same is true for people who are talking too much.

There are things you can do.

You can kind of cut them off.

You can redirect to another group member and say, you know, what do you think of what they're saying?

But at some point, especially in group conversation,

While there is a shared responsibility to create a good experience, there's also lack of control.

You don't have control over what people say and do.

And so if somebody is there and they're very quiet, you never really know what's going on in their mind.

You don't know if they're feeling anxious or shy.

They don't feel like they have something to add or they're really enjoying themselves.

What you do have control over is your mindset about it and your actions, right?

So trying not to come from a place of judgment, negative judgment about it.