Alison Wood Brooks

But so much of the social world is not about information exchange at all. We're just looking to fill time. We're looking to conceal information and maintain privacy. We just don't want to feel awkward around other people. We want to have fun. We want to learn from each other. I felt like that whole bit needed more of a focus.

Dang, girl. Mid-range jump shots now.

Dang, girl. Mid-range jump shots now.

Dang, girl. Mid-range jump shots now.

I mean, we start learning to talk to each other when we're one, one and a half. You're a toddler. You do it every day of your life with an enormous number of people, very diverse range of conversation partners. So by the time you get to be a teenager and then an adult. It's second nature to you. It feels like you should be an expert and maybe you are an expert.

I mean, we start learning to talk to each other when we're one, one and a half. You're a toddler. You do it every day of your life with an enormous number of people, very diverse range of conversation partners. So by the time you get to be a teenager and then an adult. It's second nature to you. It feels like you should be an expert and maybe you are an expert.

I mean, we start learning to talk to each other when we're one, one and a half. You're a toddler. You do it every day of your life with an enormous number of people, very diverse range of conversation partners. So by the time you get to be a teenager and then an adult. It's second nature to you. It feels like you should be an expert and maybe you are an expert.

You see other people who are seemingly amazing at it and you're like, wow. And then you feel bad if you feel like you're not.

You see other people who are seemingly amazing at it and you're like, wow. And then you feel bad if you feel like you're not.

You see other people who are seemingly amazing at it and you're like, wow. And then you feel bad if you feel like you're not.

Right.

Right.

Right.

When you look under the hood of what's going on during conversation, it is remarkably complex. You get to this point of acceptance where you're like, of course, there's going to be moments of awkwardness. Of course, we're going to forget to say stuff that we meant to say or say things that we regret or interrupt people or have all these little collisions because it's not second nature.

When you look under the hood of what's going on during conversation, it is remarkably complex. You get to this point of acceptance where you're like, of course, there's going to be moments of awkwardness. Of course, we're going to forget to say stuff that we meant to say or say things that we regret or interrupt people or have all these little collisions because it's not second nature.

When you look under the hood of what's going on during conversation, it is remarkably complex. You get to this point of acceptance where you're like, of course, there's going to be moments of awkwardness. Of course, we're going to forget to say stuff that we meant to say or say things that we regret or interrupt people or have all these little collisions because it's not second nature.

And watching children learn to do it, reading or talking, opens your eyes to how this is not natural. This is not innate. It's hard to learn to read. It takes years to really get good at reading. It takes even longer to learn how to be a good conversationalist. And we get to adulthood and we're still not.

And watching children learn to do it, reading or talking, opens your eyes to how this is not natural. This is not innate. It's hard to learn to read. It takes years to really get good at reading. It takes even longer to learn how to be a good conversationalist. And we get to adulthood and we're still not.

And watching children learn to do it, reading or talking, opens your eyes to how this is not natural. This is not innate. It's hard to learn to read. It takes years to really get good at reading. It takes even longer to learn how to be a good conversationalist. And we get to adulthood and we're still not.

Think about how much time you spend picking out your outfit, making a reservation at the restaurant, buying your makeup, getting your hair done. And literally during all of that, you could be thinking, what are two things we could talk about once we're together? But most people don't do that.