Alison Wood Brooks

You still get a boost in how people perceive your confidence because you are at least confident enough to try. Yeah. And even that is admirable.

You still get a boost in how people perceive your confidence because you are at least confident enough to try. Yeah. And even that is admirable.

You still get a boost in how people perceive your confidence because you are at least confident enough to try. Yeah. And even that is admirable.

Moment to moment, when people are talking to each other, when they're walking through the world, what are kind people thinking about and what are they saying to other people? I was, as a psychologist, so curious to try and figure that out. And I think we've come up with some pretty concrete answers of what people who are prioritizing other people's needs more frequently than others.

Moment to moment, when people are talking to each other, when they're walking through the world, what are kind people thinking about and what are they saying to other people? I was, as a psychologist, so curious to try and figure that out. And I think we've come up with some pretty concrete answers of what people who are prioritizing other people's needs more frequently than others.

Moment to moment, when people are talking to each other, when they're walking through the world, what are kind people thinking about and what are they saying to other people? I was, as a psychologist, so curious to try and figure that out. And I think we've come up with some pretty concrete answers of what people who are prioritizing other people's needs more frequently than others.

These are kind people. And they do some predictable things during conversation. More respectful language that makes people feel worthy and seen and known and understood.

These are kind people. And they do some predictable things during conversation. More respectful language that makes people feel worthy and seen and known and understood.

These are kind people. And they do some predictable things during conversation. More respectful language that makes people feel worthy and seen and known and understood.

Using people's names is a good start. I think you're worthy of even knowing who you are. Just as a starting place. Think of how many conversations you've had where you didn't know someone's name. It's a very uneasy feeling. Because you can't give them that respect. How can I show you that I care about you and respect you if I don't even know your name? That's a weird feeling.

Using people's names is a good start. I think you're worthy of even knowing who you are. Just as a starting place. Think of how many conversations you've had where you didn't know someone's name. It's a very uneasy feeling. Because you can't give them that respect. How can I show you that I care about you and respect you if I don't even know your name? That's a weird feeling.

Using people's names is a good start. I think you're worthy of even knowing who you are. Just as a starting place. Think of how many conversations you've had where you didn't know someone's name. It's a very uneasy feeling. Because you can't give them that respect. How can I show you that I care about you and respect you if I don't even know your name? That's a weird feeling.

Let's slap on name tags, guys. Right. Just as a start, that's such a basic thing. But every little linguistic choice you make is an opportunity to show respect or not. Positive language is more respectful than negative. It shows people that you like being with them. Literally things like, great, good, awesome, cool, love that.

Let's slap on name tags, guys. Right. Just as a start, that's such a basic thing. But every little linguistic choice you make is an opportunity to show respect or not. Positive language is more respectful than negative. It shows people that you like being with them. Literally things like, great, good, awesome, cool, love that.

Let's slap on name tags, guys. Right. Just as a start, that's such a basic thing. But every little linguistic choice you make is an opportunity to show respect or not. Positive language is more respectful than negative. It shows people that you like being with them. Literally things like, great, good, awesome, cool, love that.

As opposed to negative language that's like, no, uh-uh, hmm, that sucks. That makes you feel like you're not enjoying being with me. And then making people feel like they're worthy of your time and attention, which then ties into listening. So when we think about listening, there's decades of work on active listening, which is mostly nonverbal cue, like nodding, smiling, leaning forward.

As opposed to negative language that's like, no, uh-uh, hmm, that sucks. That makes you feel like you're not enjoying being with me. And then making people feel like they're worthy of your time and attention, which then ties into listening. So when we think about listening, there's decades of work on active listening, which is mostly nonverbal cue, like nodding, smiling, leaning forward.

As opposed to negative language that's like, no, uh-uh, hmm, that sucks. That makes you feel like you're not enjoying being with me. And then making people feel like they're worthy of your time and attention, which then ties into listening. So when we think about listening, there's decades of work on active listening, which is mostly nonverbal cue, like nodding, smiling, leaning forward.

And our more recent research on listening, what we find is great conversationalists use their words to show people that they've heard them. Those can't be faked. So if you're sitting on Zoom, you can be like smiling and nodding, but you're off to the side making a grocery list or texting your friends.

And our more recent research on listening, what we find is great conversationalists use their words to show people that they've heard them. Those can't be faked. So if you're sitting on Zoom, you can be like smiling and nodding, but you're off to the side making a grocery list or texting your friends.