Alison Wood Brooks

So learning as much as you can about the other person's perspective is... much more effective for making the conversation continue in a productive way and ultimately, and this is sort of the ironic part, ultimately to be more persuasive because the other person is going to see you as much more reasonable and measured.

I mean, in some ways, this is such a profound insight, Alison, because when I think about the difficult conversations either that I've had or that I need to have, I do think I have approached those conversations with a mindset of how do I convince this other person about this thing that I know is right? I know it's right. They don't know it's right.

I mean, in some ways, this is such a profound insight, Alison, because when I think about the difficult conversations either that I've had or that I need to have, I do think I have approached those conversations with a mindset of how do I convince this other person about this thing that I know is right? I know it's right. They don't know it's right.

I mean, in some ways, this is such a profound insight, Alison, because when I think about the difficult conversations either that I've had or that I need to have, I do think I have approached those conversations with a mindset of how do I convince this other person about this thing that I know is right? I know it's right. They don't know it's right.

My job is to persuade them that in some ways they are wrong. And in some ways, you're saying that is the wrong way to go about it, that the approach, the orientation of persuasion in some ways sets us on the wrong track when it comes to having these difficult conversations.

My job is to persuade them that in some ways they are wrong. And in some ways, you're saying that is the wrong way to go about it, that the approach, the orientation of persuasion in some ways sets us on the wrong track when it comes to having these difficult conversations.

My job is to persuade them that in some ways they are wrong. And in some ways, you're saying that is the wrong way to go about it, that the approach, the orientation of persuasion in some ways sets us on the wrong track when it comes to having these difficult conversations.

That's right. And you're not alone. Almost everyone has that instinct. It's a deeply held human instinct to feel like you're right and you want to persuade other people to see your point of view and to persuade them to agree with you. It's just not an effective mindset or effective behaviors in the context of a live unfolding dialogue because it's impossible.

That's right. And you're not alone. Almost everyone has that instinct. It's a deeply held human instinct to feel like you're right and you want to persuade other people to see your point of view and to persuade them to agree with you. It's just not an effective mindset or effective behaviors in the context of a live unfolding dialogue because it's impossible.

That's right. And you're not alone. Almost everyone has that instinct. It's a deeply held human instinct to feel like you're right and you want to persuade other people to see your point of view and to persuade them to agree with you. It's just not an effective mindset or effective behaviors in the context of a live unfolding dialogue because it's impossible.

It's so difficult to be on the receiving end of that. that it's hard to continue to listen and engage in the ways that you need to to even keep a conversation going.

It's so difficult to be on the receiving end of that. that it's hard to continue to listen and engage in the ways that you need to to even keep a conversation going.

It's so difficult to be on the receiving end of that. that it's hard to continue to listen and engage in the ways that you need to to even keep a conversation going.

So some time ago, Alison, we featured your colleague Julia Minson on Hidden Brain. She has studied the effects of something called conversational receptiveness, which is closely linked to this idea of turning a difficult conversation from an exercise in persuasion to an exercise in learning. What is conversational receptiveness, Alison?

So some time ago, Alison, we featured your colleague Julia Minson on Hidden Brain. She has studied the effects of something called conversational receptiveness, which is closely linked to this idea of turning a difficult conversation from an exercise in persuasion to an exercise in learning. What is conversational receptiveness, Alison?

So some time ago, Alison, we featured your colleague Julia Minson on Hidden Brain. She has studied the effects of something called conversational receptiveness, which is closely linked to this idea of turning a difficult conversation from an exercise in persuasion to an exercise in learning. What is conversational receptiveness, Alison?

Julia Minson's work, Hannah Collins, Mike Yeoman, this work is incredible and groundbreaking on receptiveness. They define receptiveness, especially in conversation, as openness to opposing viewpoints. And the ability to engage receptively live in a live conversation is an incredible skill that we can all work on and is counterintuitive to most people.

Julia Minson's work, Hannah Collins, Mike Yeoman, this work is incredible and groundbreaking on receptiveness. They define receptiveness, especially in conversation, as openness to opposing viewpoints. And the ability to engage receptively live in a live conversation is an incredible skill that we can all work on and is counterintuitive to most people.

Julia Minson's work, Hannah Collins, Mike Yeoman, this work is incredible and groundbreaking on receptiveness. They define receptiveness, especially in conversation, as openness to opposing viewpoints. And the ability to engage receptively live in a live conversation is an incredible skill that we can all work on and is counterintuitive to most people.

Can you talk about some of the elements of conversational receptiveness? Julia Minson and others talk about starting with the role of acknowledgement, that you actually acknowledge what it is that the other person is saying to you.