Alison Wood Brooks

Can you talk about some of the elements of conversational receptiveness? Julia Minson and others talk about starting with the role of acknowledgement, that you actually acknowledge what it is that the other person is saying to you.

Can you talk about some of the elements of conversational receptiveness? Julia Minson and others talk about starting with the role of acknowledgement, that you actually acknowledge what it is that the other person is saying to you.

That's right. And acknowledgement is a very simple thing. It's almost like just repeating back what you've heard from someone. I hear you saying this, right? Is that correct? I hear you asking this question about receptiveness, Shankar. Am I hearing you right? It's sort of this acknowledgement of like, I'm listening to you and I'm understanding what you're saying. Yeah.

That's right. And acknowledgement is a very simple thing. It's almost like just repeating back what you've heard from someone. I hear you saying this, right? Is that correct? I hear you asking this question about receptiveness, Shankar. Am I hearing you right? It's sort of this acknowledgement of like, I'm listening to you and I'm understanding what you're saying. Yeah.

That's right. And acknowledgement is a very simple thing. It's almost like just repeating back what you've heard from someone. I hear you saying this, right? Is that correct? I hear you asking this question about receptiveness, Shankar. Am I hearing you right? It's sort of this acknowledgement of like, I'm listening to you and I'm understanding what you're saying. Yeah.

The sort of next bump up from acknowledgement is affirmation. So you take what another person has said and you attach a positive affirmation to it. So I say, I hear what you're saying and also I appreciate it. It makes sense that you would feel that way about this thing. That's great. You're such a reasonable person.

The sort of next bump up from acknowledgement is affirmation. So you take what another person has said and you attach a positive affirmation to it. So I say, I hear what you're saying and also I appreciate it. It makes sense that you would feel that way about this thing. That's great. You're such a reasonable person.

The sort of next bump up from acknowledgement is affirmation. So you take what another person has said and you attach a positive affirmation to it. So I say, I hear what you're saying and also I appreciate it. It makes sense that you would feel that way about this thing. That's great. You're such a reasonable person.

So this sort of affirmation, I love how you said, I love how you asked this question. It's a great one. And so you attach this positive attribution and affirmation onto your acknowledgement. Now, all of this is completely independent from agreement, right? You are not necessarily going to go on and agree with what they've said. They're just making the point that linguistically—

So this sort of affirmation, I love how you said, I love how you asked this question. It's a great one. And so you attach this positive attribution and affirmation onto your acknowledgement. Now, all of this is completely independent from agreement, right? You are not necessarily going to go on and agree with what they've said. They're just making the point that linguistically—

So this sort of affirmation, I love how you said, I love how you asked this question. It's a great one. And so you attach this positive attribution and affirmation onto your acknowledgement. Now, all of this is completely independent from agreement, right? You are not necessarily going to go on and agree with what they've said. They're just making the point that linguistically—

It's so important to start from a place of saying, I hear what you're saying. I understand it. I like it. I think it's reasonable that you feel that way. Tell me more about it. And just maintaining a tone that your partner is going to be able to continue to engage with, whether you go on to agree or disagree later in the conversation. Another way to think of it would be like validation.

It's so important to start from a place of saying, I hear what you're saying. I understand it. I like it. I think it's reasonable that you feel that way. Tell me more about it. And just maintaining a tone that your partner is going to be able to continue to engage with, whether you go on to agree or disagree later in the conversation. Another way to think of it would be like validation.

It's so important to start from a place of saying, I hear what you're saying. I understand it. I like it. I think it's reasonable that you feel that way. Tell me more about it. And just maintaining a tone that your partner is going to be able to continue to engage with, whether you go on to agree or disagree later in the conversation. Another way to think of it would be like validation.

You need to validate their feelings, even if you're not going to agree with their beliefs.

You need to validate their feelings, even if you're not going to agree with their beliefs.

You need to validate their feelings, even if you're not going to agree with their beliefs.

One of the things that we often do when we're having difficult conversations is that we fixate on the areas of disagreement that we have with someone else. And that's understandable. That's what makes a difficult conversation difficult. But what are we missing when we do that, Alison?

One of the things that we often do when we're having difficult conversations is that we fixate on the areas of disagreement that we have with someone else. And that's understandable. That's what makes a difficult conversation difficult. But what are we missing when we do that, Alison?

One of the things that we often do when we're having difficult conversations is that we fixate on the areas of disagreement that we have with someone else. And that's understandable. That's what makes a difficult conversation difficult. But what are we missing when we do that, Alison?