Alison Wood Brooks

So at the surface where our words, are we literally using the same, the right words? Are we understanding each other and what we mean when we're using certain words? And often moments of difficulty come from like, oh, we're just misunderstanding each other. We're using the same word to mean different things or we're not talking about the same thing.

So at the surface where our words, are we literally using the same, the right words? Are we understanding each other and what we mean when we're using certain words? And often moments of difficulty come from like, oh, we're just misunderstanding each other. We're using the same word to mean different things or we're not talking about the same thing.

So at the surface where our words, are we literally using the same, the right words? Are we understanding each other and what we mean when we're using certain words? And often moments of difficulty come from like, oh, we're just misunderstanding each other. We're using the same word to mean different things or we're not talking about the same thing.

Often these differences in our emotions cause problems. I want to go have fun. You actually want to have a deep conversation. We have different motives. And then, of course, differences in our identities. And I think most... of the most difficult moments in conversation come from the moments when you poke an invisible barb into somebody's identity.

Often these differences in our emotions cause problems. I want to go have fun. You actually want to have a deep conversation. We have different motives. And then, of course, differences in our identities. And I think most... of the most difficult moments in conversation come from the moments when you poke an invisible barb into somebody's identity.

Often these differences in our emotions cause problems. I want to go have fun. You actually want to have a deep conversation. We have different motives. And then, of course, differences in our identities. And I think most... of the most difficult moments in conversation come from the moments when you poke an invisible barb into somebody's identity.

And sometimes you realize when it's happened and sometimes you don't. It goes back to the story of this LGBTQ student who came and talked to me about making an insensitive comment, a heteronormative comment in class. I poked an invisible barb into an important part of who he is and he didn't feel seen and acknowledged. and valued and worthy of care.

And sometimes you realize when it's happened and sometimes you don't. It goes back to the story of this LGBTQ student who came and talked to me about making an insensitive comment, a heteronormative comment in class. I poked an invisible barb into an important part of who he is and he didn't feel seen and acknowledged. and valued and worthy of care.

And sometimes you realize when it's happened and sometimes you don't. It goes back to the story of this LGBTQ student who came and talked to me about making an insensitive comment, a heteronormative comment in class. I poked an invisible barb into an important part of who he is and he didn't feel seen and acknowledged. and valued and worthy of care.

And so anytime that we make our conversation partner feel like we don't understand them, we don't see them, and we are not making them feel worthy of care, it's going to cause problems.

And so anytime that we make our conversation partner feel like we don't understand them, we don't see them, and we are not making them feel worthy of care, it's going to cause problems.

And so anytime that we make our conversation partner feel like we don't understand them, we don't see them, and we are not making them feel worthy of care, it's going to cause problems.

When you were a college student, Allison, you and your fellow students found yourselves in opposition to an administrator. The students saw this administrator as an enforcer, and they thought that she was heavy-handed. They often clashed with her. You decided to try another approach. Can you tell me what happened?

When you were a college student, Allison, you and your fellow students found yourselves in opposition to an administrator. The students saw this administrator as an enforcer, and they thought that she was heavy-handed. They often clashed with her. You decided to try another approach. Can you tell me what happened?

When you were a college student, Allison, you and your fellow students found yourselves in opposition to an administrator. The students saw this administrator as an enforcer, and they thought that she was heavy-handed. They often clashed with her. You decided to try another approach. Can you tell me what happened?

So I was a member of a club, a social club, when I was an undergrad. And there was a woman there whose full-time job it was to take care of this beautiful property and to keep all the students who hung out there and ate their meals there to keep them safe. And historically, the student members of the club had this really confrontational sort of oppositional relationship with this house manager.

So I was a member of a club, a social club, when I was an undergrad. And there was a woman there whose full-time job it was to take care of this beautiful property and to keep all the students who hung out there and ate their meals there to keep them safe. And historically, the student members of the club had this really confrontational sort of oppositional relationship with this house manager.

So I was a member of a club, a social club, when I was an undergrad. And there was a woman there whose full-time job it was to take care of this beautiful property and to keep all the students who hung out there and ate their meals there to keep them safe. And historically, the student members of the club had this really confrontational sort of oppositional relationship with this house manager.

And I remember watching this oppositional dynamic unfold, and it really made me feel not only uncomfortable, but also I started to feel like this isn't serving the students well either because it puts her in this enforcer position, in this oppositional position. She's not going to give us the things that we want.

And I remember watching this oppositional dynamic unfold, and it really made me feel not only uncomfortable, but also I started to feel like this isn't serving the students well either because it puts her in this enforcer position, in this oppositional position. She's not going to give us the things that we want.