Alison Wood Brooks

And I remember watching this oppositional dynamic unfold, and it really made me feel not only uncomfortable, but also I started to feel like this isn't serving the students well either because it puts her in this enforcer position, in this oppositional position. She's not going to give us the things that we want.

And so when I became the sort of vice president of this club, I thought, I'm going to try and convince my fellow students, the fellow leaders of the club, and this woman, let's reposition ourselves as allies. Like, why don't we try and work together? And so first I had to convince the other students that this was a good approach.

And so when I became the sort of vice president of this club, I thought, I'm going to try and convince my fellow students, the fellow leaders of the club, and this woman, let's reposition ourselves as allies. Like, why don't we try and work together? And so first I had to convince the other students that this was a good approach.

And so when I became the sort of vice president of this club, I thought, I'm going to try and convince my fellow students, the fellow leaders of the club, and this woman, let's reposition ourselves as allies. Like, why don't we try and work together? And so first I had to convince the other students that this was a good approach.

That was not easy because there was a lot of animosity between the students and this house manager. But then the really hard conversation was facing this woman myself. And I remember it very vividly. It was at her, it was in her office, in private, sort of woman on woman. I was the first woman who had ever been an officer in this club.

That was not easy because there was a lot of animosity between the students and this house manager. But then the really hard conversation was facing this woman myself. And I remember it very vividly. It was at her, it was in her office, in private, sort of woman on woman. I was the first woman who had ever been an officer in this club.

That was not easy because there was a lot of animosity between the students and this house manager. But then the really hard conversation was facing this woman myself. And I remember it very vividly. It was at her, it was in her office, in private, sort of woman on woman. I was the first woman who had ever been an officer in this club.

And I went and met with her one-on-one, and she was so gracious and so grateful when I apologized for the behavior of all the students historically and how unkind they had been and why this animosity had erupted between the students and this house manager. I just said, I'm so sorry. We don't want you to feel that way. We want to work together. We want to be on the same team here.

And I went and met with her one-on-one, and she was so gracious and so grateful when I apologized for the behavior of all the students historically and how unkind they had been and why this animosity had erupted between the students and this house manager. I just said, I'm so sorry. We don't want you to feel that way. We want to work together. We want to be on the same team here.

And I went and met with her one-on-one, and she was so gracious and so grateful when I apologized for the behavior of all the students historically and how unkind they had been and why this animosity had erupted between the students and this house manager. I just said, I'm so sorry. We don't want you to feel that way. We want to work together. We want to be on the same team here.

And she just said, thank you so much. Thank you so much for saying this. This sounds so amazing. And we both cried and she was so grateful. And it really felt like this turning point. in the dynamic, which did prove out to be really great for us going forward. It really worked out well. She gave the club so much more of what we actually wanted.

And she just said, thank you so much. Thank you so much for saying this. This sounds so amazing. And we both cried and she was so grateful. And it really felt like this turning point. in the dynamic, which did prove out to be really great for us going forward. It really worked out well. She gave the club so much more of what we actually wanted.

And she just said, thank you so much. Thank you so much for saying this. This sounds so amazing. And we both cried and she was so grateful. And it really felt like this turning point. in the dynamic, which did prove out to be really great for us going forward. It really worked out well. She gave the club so much more of what we actually wanted.

And then what was really moving, it ended up being one of the most meaningful sort of conversations of my life. That was, you And that was an inflection point for the club going forward. The students then developed a new norm of being friends with this woman and being on good terms. And it continued on for the next 15 years. And I saw her at my 15th college reunion. And she looked great.

And then what was really moving, it ended up being one of the most meaningful sort of conversations of my life. That was, you And that was an inflection point for the club going forward. The students then developed a new norm of being friends with this woman and being on good terms. And it continued on for the next 15 years. And I saw her at my 15th college reunion. And she looked great.

And then what was really moving, it ended up being one of the most meaningful sort of conversations of my life. That was, you And that was an inflection point for the club going forward. The students then developed a new norm of being friends with this woman and being on good terms. And it continued on for the next 15 years. And I saw her at my 15th college reunion. And she looked great.

She looked so healthy and happy. And she pulled me aside and she said, I just can never thank you enough for for having that conversation with me and making this change. It changed the club for the better, and it changed my life. And it meant so much to me.

She looked so healthy and happy. And she pulled me aside and she said, I just can never thank you enough for for having that conversation with me and making this change. It changed the club for the better, and it changed my life. And it meant so much to me.

She looked so healthy and happy. And she pulled me aside and she said, I just can never thank you enough for for having that conversation with me and making this change. It changed the club for the better, and it changed my life. And it meant so much to me.

Wow, that's an amazing story, Alison. And it's really testament to what happens when we handle difficult conversations well, that there is a huge payoff here, a huge psychological payoff here.