Alyssa Birnbaum

So in a similar way, when you ask your colleague,

How was your weekend?

You're probably not gonna get a great response.

Try something like, what was the highlight of your weekend?

And then ask for more, probe a little deeper.

Answering questions expansively encourages you to open up and share more about yourself and give someone else the opportunity to share more in return.

For instance, if you're on a remote call, you're on a Zoom call with a remote team member,

And they haphazardly ask about our most favorite topic, the weather.

You could just say what they're expecting, which is, yeah, it's pretty cold.

Or you can answer a bit more expansively.

So, for instance, I could say, well, my neighbors were making fun of me this morning when I was walking my dog wearing my big puffer jacket when it was in the mid-50s.

Is it cold by you?

So what that does is that encourages them to open up because they've now learned a little bit more about you.

They have more insight into your life and now they're more open to sharing about their own.

Number two is overlap or finding things in common.

As human beings, we like to feel like we belong and having things in common with one another helps us bond.

When I was younger, I used to think that being in the same life stage was a prerequisite for having things in common, but it's just not true.

Maybe you're both cat people, or you both love country music, you both went gorilla trekking in Uganda, or you're both just sick and tired of hearing about politics on the news.

It may take some time to uncover these commonalities,

But asking questions and using the visual cues you have, even if it's just through their video screen, can help.