Alyssa Birnbaum

And you can do this in reverse, using your background as a way for other people to learn more about you and find commonalities with you.

So especially if you're a remote worker, think of your background as a conversation starter.

You can have photos of travel or your pets.

You could have artwork or books that you love, anything that could prompt conversation and engagement.

All of these things can help people find things in common and help you bond.

Third, and this is one of the most important ones, is caring and showing that you truly care and that you appreciate the other person that you're conversing with.

If you're on your phone or scrolling through your computer and the other person's talking to you, it signals that whatever's on your screen is much more important than your conversation with them.

On the flip side, if you're listening attentively, you're nodding, you're asking questions related to what they're asking, what they're talking about, you're laughing at their jokes, you're nodding, you're taking notes, you're fully engaging,

That signals that you appreciate them and you care.

And these types of interactions, they energize people.

They boost their self-esteem and they make them feel closer to you.

So expand, overlap, and care.

These are three things that can help you build stronger connections with others.

But none of them are effective unless they are done authentically.

And this is, for most people, the hardest part.

But just like you notice when someone's nodding but clearly not listening, complimenting you but clearly doesn't mean it, or asking you questions but couldn't care less about your answer, others notice when you're doing it back.

You have to dig deep, not just going through the motions or thinking of it as a checklist, but truly figuring out how to care.

leaders have an additional responsibility.

They set the tone.

So if they signal that they don't care about connecting with others, their employees are likely to follow.