Alyssa Nobriga

So there's this like phase of all relationships we have to go through to heal before we get to more of the like celebration of love. We kind of graduate from that other initial phase. So it's maybe not even the wrong person. It's just, oh, this is what they're mirroring to me that is looking to be healed and met within me. And you can do it in the

So there's this like phase of all relationships we have to go through to heal before we get to more of the like celebration of love. We kind of graduate from that other initial phase. So it's maybe not even the wrong person. It's just, oh, this is what they're mirroring to me that is looking to be healed and met within me. And you can do it in the

So there's this like phase of all relationships we have to go through to heal before we get to more of the like celebration of love. We kind of graduate from that other initial phase. So it's maybe not even the wrong person. It's just, oh, this is what they're mirroring to me that is looking to be healed and met within me. And you can do it in the

Yeah. The other thing that's really, I think, valuable in understanding yourself and your partner is when their stuff comes up, you don't take it personal. And then you can hold that compassionate space like, oh, this tracks back to when they were young. And they understand that they were looking for their love from their dad or whoever it may be. And now it's playing out currently.

Yeah. The other thing that's really, I think, valuable in understanding yourself and your partner is when their stuff comes up, you don't take it personal. And then you can hold that compassionate space like, oh, this tracks back to when they were young. And they understand that they were looking for their love from their dad or whoever it may be. And now it's playing out currently.

Yeah. The other thing that's really, I think, valuable in understanding yourself and your partner is when their stuff comes up, you don't take it personal. And then you can hold that compassionate space like, oh, this tracks back to when they were young. And they understand that they were looking for their love from their dad or whoever it may be. And now it's playing out currently.

But for me, when I've been able to hold that for my husband, where I understand where it comes from, then my brain doesn't make it mean it's personal and I get defensive. So then I hold a compassionate space to support him more easily. being there to support him in meeting his needs while also, you know, yes and, like inside and out. So both of it. Yeah.

But for me, when I've been able to hold that for my husband, where I understand where it comes from, then my brain doesn't make it mean it's personal and I get defensive. So then I hold a compassionate space to support him more easily. being there to support him in meeting his needs while also, you know, yes and, like inside and out. So both of it. Yeah.

But for me, when I've been able to hold that for my husband, where I understand where it comes from, then my brain doesn't make it mean it's personal and I get defensive. So then I hold a compassionate space to support him more easily. being there to support him in meeting his needs while also, you know, yes and, like inside and out. So both of it. Yeah.

I agree. I think that's, I think that's courageous. And I think that's the foundation for deeper intimacy because the avoidance, if you're avoiding you're going to grow apart, right? Like you were talking, your needs aren't going to get met. There's resentment that builds up. You don't actually feel the intimacy and the vulnerability for sharing the truth underneath.

I agree. I think that's, I think that's courageous. And I think that's the foundation for deeper intimacy because the avoidance, if you're avoiding you're going to grow apart, right? Like you were talking, your needs aren't going to get met. There's resentment that builds up. You don't actually feel the intimacy and the vulnerability for sharing the truth underneath.

I agree. I think that's, I think that's courageous. And I think that's the foundation for deeper intimacy because the avoidance, if you're avoiding you're going to grow apart, right? Like you were talking, your needs aren't going to get met. There's resentment that builds up. You don't actually feel the intimacy and the vulnerability for sharing the truth underneath.

And as we were talking about conflict, I was also thinking when you were saying some people are in conflict all the time, that could be a self-sabotaging pattern because they thought that maybe they saw their parents in conflict all the time and they think unconsciously that's what love means. Or when it's getting too good,

And as we were talking about conflict, I was also thinking when you were saying some people are in conflict all the time, that could be a self-sabotaging pattern because they thought that maybe they saw their parents in conflict all the time and they think unconsciously that's what love means. Or when it's getting too good,

And as we were talking about conflict, I was also thinking when you were saying some people are in conflict all the time, that could be a self-sabotaging pattern because they thought that maybe they saw their parents in conflict all the time and they think unconsciously that's what love means. Or when it's getting too good,

they want to pull it down to their comfort zone, their safety zone, because what's familiar seems safe to the subconscious. It's like sometimes even watching when things are really good, breaking out into a conflict or blaming can be an unconscious way to sabotage and something to be mindful of. I'm curious around sabotage and your experience.

they want to pull it down to their comfort zone, their safety zone, because what's familiar seems safe to the subconscious. It's like sometimes even watching when things are really good, breaking out into a conflict or blaming can be an unconscious way to sabotage and something to be mindful of. I'm curious around sabotage and your experience.

they want to pull it down to their comfort zone, their safety zone, because what's familiar seems safe to the subconscious. It's like sometimes even watching when things are really good, breaking out into a conflict or blaming can be an unconscious way to sabotage and something to be mindful of. I'm curious around sabotage and your experience.

What have you seen around this pattern or if there's like a root cause or some of the things that people play out sabotaging their relationships?

What have you seen around this pattern or if there's like a root cause or some of the things that people play out sabotaging their relationships?