Amala Ekpunobi

But let's continue.

What a lovely and I think healthy response to your daughter completely pulling the rug out from under you for years, mind you.

we're getting a little bit of glue into how this took place she's been going to therapy she dictates that the mother must also follow her path to therapy and if she does not then we're not gonna have contact with you now she says that may be false but we're just going to lean on that interpretation just for now what sort of therapist is telling you to go no contact with your mother outside of extreme you know exceptions to that where it does make sense to maybe cut somebody off is

that probably a healthy way to be going about therapy i i wouldn't think so i wouldn't think so especially now that we see years later you do in fact want a relationship with a mother somebody who you have written off and thought that you could not be compatible with in any way shape or form and now the mother is saying you essentially told me that i'm dead to you that's what no contact means it means you are no longer a part of my life i don't want to know how you're doing and you don't get to know how i'm doing or how your grandkids are doing so

So she had to deal with being dead to her daughter.

She then has to consume the idea that her daughter is somewhat dead to her and that she has no way of reaching out to her or contacting her.

And she has to grieve that loss as that top comment mentioned.

Now you're going to pop out.

from the grave and try to start a relationship with her again with your parameters in place?

How does that work?

And the mother very healthily says, you know, if you can come to the conclusion that you can accept me for who I am and the times in which I fumble or I make a mistake or the times in which I say something that offends you or upsets you, then we can build a relationship again because that's how relationships work.

We do not have clear-cut relationships where nobody ever offends us and nobody ever gets on our nerves or nobody ever hurts us.

Oftentimes, being hurt is a staple to many of the relationships we have in our lives.

And it's something that we either work through or we get over or we learn to accept about the people on the other end of that relationship.

But now we're telling people, if you can't protect your peace around this person, that's a phrase we hear a lot.

but they need to be completely cut out of your life and you need to go no contact.

And I can't imagine this is going to be healthy for the vast majority of people who are using this tactic to quote unquote heal themselves from past or present wounds.

The mother, she says throughout her email response mentions pain, pain, pain over and over again about this no contact.

And even goes as far as to say, I'm sure your life has been far less stressful without me.

me in it she makes no mention of her life being less stressful because her daughter's not in it because of course virtually any mother is going to be stressed out by not having contact with her daughter uh the daughter's husband the grandkids it's probably an awful existence to be living in and she bared the burden of that only to be reached out two years later and told you can reach back out to me in this way and now the daughter with this lovely healthy response from the mother is saying i'm not sure maybe out of politeness i will reach back out to this email