Amanda

That's absolutely it.

I mean, about four years ago, I found out I had breast cancer.

And he was so hands-off with me.

It was almost surprising to me how hands-off.

I mean, there would be nights I would cry myself to sleep in my closet because he would be so frustrated with me by how I was handling it.

Tell me about that.

Tell me about that.

He would tell me that I was being too negative or it's not that big of a deal or people have it worse.

And so I would lay in bed and cry because I wasn't trying to be negative, but I also had to feel what I was feeling at the time.

And so I would lay in bed and cry at night because I felt like I always had to keep it together because unfortunately for me, I'm a people pleaser to the end.

But

So I would feel like I had to keep it together for everybody at work all day and my kids and yada, yada, yada.

And then I would just want to be able to just cry in bed at night if I needed to.

And he would tell me, you're going to die if you're this negative.

You can't keep doing this.

You're just being so negative.

I'm honestly afraid to say it.

I feel like anytime I've tried to be honest about my feelings, he can't hear me.

He won't.

Yeah.